Embarking on a personal odyssey through the peaks and valleys of human experience, I, SJ Childs, am honored to welcome the profoundly resilient Kristof Morrow to the show. Our conversation unfurls the complexities of Kristof's life, revealing how his early infatuation with words provided solace and direction amidst a tumultuous upbringing in Texas. From grappling with a late diagnosis of Tourette's syndrome to rediscovering his confidence and passion for writing after serving in the Navy, Kristof's candid narrative proves the enduring power of storytelling in shaping our identities and destinies.
Together, we celebrate the irreplaceable role of companionship on creative voyages, reminiscing about the unwavering support of friends like Rosa and Dan Tanyan during pivotal chapters of his writing career. A year has passed since the birth of his publication, a milestone buoyed by the encouragement of readers who've journeyed with us. We weave tales of advice that spurred us to action, the yearning to leave a meaningful imprint on the world, and how crafting narratives can raise others, echoing Tolkien's vision of crafting worlds that transcend societal shortcomings.
As our dialogue comes to a close, we reflect on the serene beauty of Oregon and the significance of place in his life, tying us together across time zones and experiences. We part with an invitation to continue this journey with us, highlighting the notion that each story's end paves the way for new beginnings. Join us in this celebration of the resilience of the human spirit, the profound connections we forge, and the magic woven by the written word.
Embarking on a personal odyssey through the peaks and valleys of human experience, I, SJ Childs, am honored to welcome the profoundly resilient Kristof Morrow to the show. Our conversation unfurls the complexities of Kristof's life, revealing how his early infatuation with words provided solace and direction amidst a tumultuous upbringing in Texas. From grappling with a late diagnosis of Tourette's syndrome to rediscovering his confidence and passion for writing after serving in the Navy, Kristof's candid narrative proves the enduring power of storytelling in shaping our identities and destinies.
Together, we celebrate the irreplaceable role of companionship on creative voyages, reminiscing about the unwavering support of friends like Rosa and Dan Tanyan during pivotal chapters of his writing career. A year has passed since the birth of his publication, a milestone buoyed by the encouragement of readers who've journeyed with us. We weave tales of advice that spurred us to action, the yearning to leave a meaningful imprint on the world, and how crafting narratives can raise others, echoing Tolkien's vision of crafting worlds that transcend societal shortcomings.
As our dialogue comes to a close, we reflect on the serene beauty of Oregon and the significance of place in his life, tying us together across time zones and experiences. We part with an invitation to continue this journey with us, highlighting the notion that each story's end paves the way for new beginnings. Join us in this celebration of the resilience of the human spirit, the profound connections we forge, and the magic woven by the written word.
Welcome to the SJ Childs Show, where a little bit of knowledge can turn fear into understanding. Enjoy the show. Hi, welcome to the SJ Childs Show today. I am really looking forward to this conversation with Chris off right, and I should have been like, hey, am I pronouncing everything correctly? But hopefully that's all good. It's so nice to meet you. Thanks so much for being here today.
Speaker 2:Thanks for your thank you.
Speaker 1:I'm looking forward to our conversation and to getting to know you more. I'm learning about the kind of what am I saying? Just going to say my mind just blanks out right at the beginning. You know to find out what you look for in life, what you love to do, what kind of resonates with you and things, and so, yeah, I'm excited to start this conversation this morning. Tell us a little bit about yourself and what you do and what brought you here.
Speaker 2:Nice to be here. Well, I'm originally from Texas, houston area, and I joined the Navy right out of high school. I grew up in a home that was, you know, it wasn't a very great space for kids. My parents dealt with addiction and rather my father was really violent. And after the Navy I discovered it. While I was in the Navy I actually discovered I had Tourette's, but I wouldn't have that diagnosis until I was 27. Because they weren't certain what it was for a long time. And when I was 27, I became a journalist. In my audition I taught myself to write and I won an award for future writing in photography and I did. I tried to go to university, but I didn't go well. I just discovered it wasn't for me. I did win some awards, though, for poetry and short fiction when I was there to different schools, and then I Shakespeare Shakespeare.
Speaker 1:That's a tag actually, I say Shakespeare.
Speaker 2:And between the ages of 27 and 32, after I got my diagnosis of Tourette's I didn't write. And then I started to write again when I was 32, after they told me I was told by a work BC, british Columbia, because I lived in Vancouver. They told me that I wouldn't, they couldn't find me work that was that could accommodate my condition, and so they told me to start writing again. Since I loved that, which is true, but I had a crisis of confidence for a very long time and I did so I wrote my book and now it's considered actually a work of literature. I learned recently that it's studied in classes that like studying Charles Dickens actually and so it's very flattering and it is actually the dream of my dream, that was was to find his way into classrooms.
Speaker 1:Since I became a writer, I love that Writing is such a interpersonal journey that you can have so many different types of growth. Like personal growth, you can have emotional growth, intellectual growth, so many different types. What you said, you've always loved writing, kind of. When did you know? I think I was in like second or third grade when I was just like I am obsessed with words and dictionaries and looking up words and kind of I think, when I really understood how much I loved writing and reading and I mean, I did it prior to that but you know the love of it. When did you, when do you think that happened?
Speaker 2:I was 13. We were tasked when I was in class it was first period, and we were told to write a letter to soldiers in Iraq serving in Iraq, I guess and so I did that, and I remember, while I was writing it, that a very profound kind of music Because of the, because of, like the nature of the letter, I wanted it. I wanted to do it well, I'm not sure why. It meant a great deal to me, though, to do it well, and so after I wrote the letter and I turned it in, I remember feeling the music begin, and Later that day it was like it was in the middle of the day I was I was sworn by a bunch of kids who said that the teacher had been reading it to every class, and then she wanted to publish it in the newspaper, and that's what she told me when I was right. I met her a few minutes later, and so that was the seed that brought into me its purpose.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so it's Shakespeare. For me it's a Hemingway, something Hemingway said about whenever he sees a word, it's like he's seeing it for the first time, and I understand what that means, because a lot of the nature of words is how it relates to not only ourselves but the society at large, and for me, every time I see a word, I see every iteration of it that I've ever that I've known it to be, and how it and and and like it's most meaningful sense to everyone. And so it's just, it's, it's enormous. I love it a great deal because it has, it's everything. It's us, every word is us, over and over again.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I can feel the passion in your words and just from your presence like really, I can see like how passionate and how like deeply you are connected to, to what you're doing, and I think that that's kind of for me this is me just saying my own opinion, but I think that that's really a sign of a highly intellectual and a highly sensitive and highly emotional type of individual and spirit in this world and I think it's really special. So I think what you're doing is is amazing, and the fact that you're so open and vulnerable to share your experience and help others understand. And let's kind of go back to earlier in your school years how did you feel like you fit in with everyone else? Was that something you struggled with or was that an easy thing for you?
Speaker 2:Shakespeare. I didn't, yeah, I didn't, I didn't shit in at all Most of my life, actually. That's because when you're, when you're bullied at home and as violently as I was, abused both verbally, physically and emotionally, you, you learn that standing up for yourself in any sense is quite perilous, and so whenever that happened in school, I did not like. I wasn't able to defend my own dignity and self worth amongst others, and so I was, I was an easy target in many senses. And the thing is, I learned recently whatever you're experiencing something like that, it's it's much more difficult for you to mature in the same senses that every other kid is, because they're able to, because when you're, when you're abused, the trouble is that, especially for me, it wouldn't happen so often you, you, you discover that that you'd have to try a new personality every day, and so you can't be firm in who you are and you cannot develop that any sense of self, and so it's quite destructive to your ability to like to manage relationships with others, because you really have no planet Of personality to orbit. Yeah and yeah, and so I didn't.
Speaker 2:It was for me, it was. I was in a constant state of observation, I had to simply observe, and whenever you are again, whenever it's, if you live with someone who is really violent and in their, in the, they're rather capricious, it's, it's you you realize that you have to learn the very, the nuances of expression, and and so, for me, I was, it was all about learning how people felt at every moment, and studying every expression that they made and every in the way that they said everything, Because it was, it could be, you know, if I didn't know how my father was feeling and I looked at him the wrong way, I would get beaten for that, you know, and so it was really dangerous for me, yeah.
Speaker 1:I think it's so interesting you said that because I can. My dad was a general in the Air Force, so he wasn't per se physically violent. However, communication was what you probably could expect and I was only child, a girl, you know. I think that in that sense, emotionally, I can completely understand living in fight or flight, constant fight or flight mode, and it was so interesting.
Speaker 1:It wasn't until maybe two years ago that I received my autism diagnosis and ADHD that I somehow was able to like take that in and maybe source it out over you know my life and kind of feel what that meant. And then in the coming months my husband would say you seem, you seem really different, like you're not living in fight or flight, like it's helped you. You've let go something about. This has helped you let go of that living in constant fight or flight mode. I thought that was so interesting. Do you feel like getting your official diagnosis and putting an understanding like to your heart and in your own mind helped you move past that? Or is that something you are still today kind of in that mode?
Speaker 2:Well, I would like ideally I would like to agree, concur, right, but I'm the same in that sense, I think. But I think any kind of relief, reconciliation that I experienced was really very limited. Probably, if I had to quantify it, I would say like 20% has diminished. However, the most profound thing for me was making friends, true friends, and now I have four very lovely friends. They know who they are Rosa Mariah, now Dan we call him Dan Tanyan, he's the fourth musketeer, and then we have a new friend, aubrey, who's very lovely. I met all these people through my work. I published my book and they have done an enormous amount of help in curing a great deal of insecurity and uncertainty about my ability to make friends. Shakespeare. They've actually supported me a great deal with my work, not just emotionally but actually financially. They set up and in terms of tasks they set up my entire website. They help me with all the marketing Shakespeare. Two days ago was my one year book aversary.
Speaker 2:The first day I published my book a year ago and so they've done so much to rehabilitate. I think it's funny that rehabilitate, because rehabilitate implies that I had something before to rehabilitate. I don't really have the ability to redevelop, but because it wasn't there. It was never there really, but they've made me feel like who I am is worthy of friendship, and that's been the most compelling evidence of worth that I've been able to discover in this whole writing journey and getting letters every day from different people who've read my work to say like the effect has had. It's incredible.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love that so much, and I couldn't agree more than when I hear that people have listened to the podcast, right, I'm like, oh my gosh, like somebody actually listened and I know that there's 20,000 people that have listened. But still, it still makes me so happy to hear one person just say it and just to have that. And I am certainly glad to have met you and I see how much value and strength and character you have, and so I'm certainly glad that we got to do this today. What was that when you decided, okay, I'm going to write the book. What was that like for you? Was it like really emotional to go through the process, or what did that look like?
Speaker 2:So it was a surrender. Truly, it began that way, they told me. Of course I said earlier, the work counselor for the government said that they couldn't find work and so within 10 minutes of hanging up with her her name was Erin I had to start writing. I started writing the book and I realized that I was either going to write the book I was either going to write something and live a life of consequence or I was going to die. I didn't really have a choice. I felt like I, because it was so important to me.
Speaker 2:Like Steinbeck said he said his whole mission as a writer is to help people understand one another it was imperative that I had tried to achieve the same in my heart. Anyway, I knew that I had done something to assist in that mission. So I started writing. I've never had a problem generating stories just because I've lived a really wild life. I was in one dispatcher and I'm one of the words of the journalist, of course. I was in the Navy and I've lived all over Just a lot of stuff, and so I always try to start simply, and I started simply and I had a character in mind that I wrote that I started with right away, and everyone is their favorite.
Speaker 2:His name is Mu for a number of reasons, but because my book doesn't really have a main character, but that's their favorite Generally, that's everybody's favorite because he's so adorable. But yeah, and so I started with a simple idea and then I developed from there and I knew then on the first day that I knew to do something that I was proud of and I did Within the story I wrote a little poem. That's really funny, it's really quite cute, and then it's actually the only thing in a book that never changed. Everything else in the book was completely rewritten in terms of the way it was written, not the substance of it, anyway. So for me, writing it was about exploring what I truly knew and what I thought was worth imparting.
Speaker 1:Shakespeare.
Speaker 2:Shakespeare, shakespeare.
Speaker 2:I also about tackling people's. There's so many things that people are uncertain of and that people contend with. As a white guy, there's a lot of stuff that struggle, that I'm not really, that I can't really understand the measure of for a lot of people, and so I it was. It was important to me to like to feel like I could make an adventure for everyone, rather than try to like deeply explore, like any kind of specific failure in society. Right, it was just. This is not. This is not me. I can't do that. I was like in similar to Tolkien. That's what I tried to do was to create a. It was to expand on the virtue that, no matter how small, but in my book there's no racism or sexism, and so everyone, everyone is a part of it and everyone can do great things and everyone can fight and everyone can, can challenge and win and it's yeah. So yeah, it was about lifting people up.
Speaker 1:What was your experience in the Navy? Like let's, I know we're kind of going on jumping around in time frames and stuff, but I'm just really curious and and what that was like for you.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, shakespeare, my time in military informs a lot about my, my understanding of what, what. Eventually, the personality that you develop while you're in the service. You know, like we're actually doing something that is a member to, like the government's greater missions, it's a larger being, being a part of something that's much larger than yourself. It's abstract and isn't very clear, it's only, it's only vaguely defined and it's it's really instilled, like throughout your life, the principle of service and that sort of thing and so, but there's also a kind of, there's also a kind of cynicism after a while. There's a kind of not a cynicism, it's just a tired. There's some exhaust, it's a, it's a, it's a curious kind of exhaustion, but but, but a happy one, because you know you're doing something worthwhile. You feel like, but it is, but it is tiring. So being in the military like, and also you develop a sense of camaraderie that you cannot really, you cannot really, you can't replicate in any other environment.
Speaker 2:Because I remember Shakespeare, I remember when I was in after, during core school, which is Corwin. I was a Corwin, so it was a medic, a navy medic, and generally Corwin actually served with Marines. They don't, because Marines don't have their own medics and actually it's funny, marines are actually a department of the Navy. Most people don't know that. And another really fun fact Corwin is actually the very first job that was ever in the US military ever even. And the Navy was the first branch of the US military. So and it's and it's actually a really cute allusion to that, that fact, the job, everyone has a job and their number and their job is defined like you can, you'll know it's, it's by a number. You'll say I'm a 104, 7 and that means you're something, you're an airplane mechanic.
Speaker 1:But for.
Speaker 2:Corwin, it's 0000, it's all zeros, you know, because it's really, it's really dumb.
Speaker 1:I love that my grandfather was in the Navy, so I yeah, I think that's really cool.
Speaker 2:Yeah, shakespeare and so and the notion that you, you could, you could be deployed and that something could happen to you. And then that was that's really something that that shapes a lot about the way you think about what the next year you have. And when you're witness to things like I witnessed like, and you when you lose people, that's another thing. That's really quite in a wounding to your heart. But you know, I had a. I had a roommate, I remember, in the barracks in the core school that had to call his dad and he told his dad that he was getting, he was going to be shipped overseas after he started, after he did his time on the West Coast. So his father my father's not obviously I didn't have that experience of any kind of sentimental anything with mine, but to hear his dad cry and knowing that his son was going to be in a place where, you know, only five years before it, it's, it truly destroyed the mental health of a lot of young people who served in the early part of the invasion of Iraq and it's in Afghanistan, it's, it's, yeah, it's. It really changes you because you, I mean.
Speaker 2:I remember in core school she said there was someone that an instructor came up to us and said you're going to get deployed. Then you just accept that. Now you're just going to happen because we're Corwin. That's what happens, that's where you go and there's a lot of expectations for Corwin. You know, like um and uh, you know you have to take care of your Marines and that sort of thing. So it's, it's, yeah, it's a. It truly is like a call of duty, you know in the real sense, and not even not just the video game.
Speaker 2:It's a real. It's a real thing.
Speaker 1:My dad was deployed in.
Speaker 1:he was an F, an F four fighter pilot and so he was deployed in Iraq and Kuwait early in the nineties, obviously, and but I was, you know, a teenager 13 to 17 at the time, or whatever and it was really. Yeah, that was a really interesting like time period. I oftentimes lived with um house sitters that would just come and stay with me and this kind of that notion that you said that there's not this close tie with anyone to to have that with. So, uh, yeah, there was. There were some few years that were very interesting in that sense that I was just kind of raising my myself at this house.
Speaker 1:You know, um, there are some scary times and I mean, I was never traveling, so I was always just there, you know, by myself, but to get the letters or to, and then back then there was no cell phone, so it was like letters that I would just wait for for months to get, you know, and, oh my gosh, just did. Yeah, it was insane. But I have some really great pictures from his time there and some, you know, interesting uh, education from that now. But, oh, moving on from that, that is that's really hard. So when you came home, um, were you able to like understand that you might, did you? You did go overseas, did you?
Speaker 2:say no. No, I didn't actually, because I I did Shakespeare because I developed Tourette's. I was. I was stationed in Naval Air Station uh, jacksonville, florida, and I worked at a hospital there. Um, which is really. There's a lot of really amusing stories from that time. But also tragic ones, but uh, yeah, it's, it's an interesting uh. It's an interesting uh deployment, in that sense, when you're, when you're set to like uh hold a deployment, um, I mean uh assignment, you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, definitely. I mean just be my mom's a nurse. So just being a medic, I mean I can't. I mean like I could never. That was never the life for me for sure.
Speaker 1:So, and that's really amazing that you, um, it just sounds like you just have like this real, uh, genuine authenticity to help humanity and to help people. Um, and so that's that's really a great trait that you gained, maybe through the experience that you went through and feeling like I'm going to give the help I never got, or, um, I think that that's really profound and a beautiful way to offer life, like your own skills.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, it was a repudiation right, it's um of what you had come to know, the cruelty and uh. For me, uh there was. I was fascinated with the notion of of being a knight. I'm not, I have no interest in it now. I mean not in reality, Of course, but like uh, but the, the, the virtues that are uh there, that you expand on uh and and that you try to elaborate on uh and in, like defending those who cannot defend themselves and standing up for something like in in sacrifice, uh, and trying to I don't enter in the maintenance of that is so I think it's so beautiful, yeah, and worthwhile.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely so. What's on your bucket list or plans to do next?
Speaker 2:What shakes me. So I have so many things, but the prevailing work that takes up a lot of my space right now. This is this is my first book course, my first novels, volumes one and two.
Speaker 1:Yeah, hold it up so I can see it. Okay, oh it looks amazing.
Speaker 2:I love it. It's an epic fantasy and which is quite interesting that there's not. There are, if there are, any other works of literature in that genre and I'm not aware of them, but there are celebrated. There are works that are celebrated Game of Thrones and Lord of the Rings but if you read Lord of the Rings, there's actually no pros in it, which is like a. It's a very necessary part of naming something literature, because it is very celebrated and loved and beloved and charming and brilliant Anyway, but it's to, to. To describe our philosophies and ethics explicitly is a component of literature that you can't like. Yeah, it's a quality that you have to have and for me I was, I've been wanting to do. I actually started volume three of that series and I've already finished the first draft and I'm nearly finished, actually, with the first.
Speaker 2:I'm going to be. I'm going to be done with the first rewrite relatively soon. Every report I've gotten has been very encouraging from people that have read both volumes one and two and know every volume three. And I'm doing after this, I'm doing a sci fi series and I I'm trying, I'm dating it's hard that's another thing is really difficult, you know, because my life is so wild and outrageous in many senses, especially now, like it's there's a lot of momentum developing in my career and you know like weird I have weird instances like I'm you know that I'm I don't know there's just a lot of it's a lot of propitious things happen Every day and so every there's so many encouraging things that are happening, like right now I'm in a hotel because someone that really loves my work knew that I was struggling because I was there, was doing construction at my house where I was living and I was renting a room in a family home with a family that lives there and it's extraordinary amount of noise and distraction and and so they paid for me to stay for a month at a hotel.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, I love that for you and that support.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and then she and then I have actually they. I enjoyed it so much and I've been so productive that they got they did it for another four months I'm doing. I'm staying somewhere else for another four months after this, which is very lovely and and I'm really quite great. I'm incredibly grateful to have that and they paid for my website and and my like almost there's so many things that they so happy for you and like you're so deserving of it.
Speaker 1:You're just very like, humble, wonderful person. I'm excited that I met you. Chris off added to the list of Sarah friends that you now had added a fifth friend. I know you can't.
Speaker 2:The Sun Sisters. I love that I read my word. They call themselves the Sun Sisters.
Speaker 1:I love that. Oh my gosh. Well, I'm going to. I, my husband loves, loves that genre of reading and I'm excited. I'm going to get him that book to read. So I don't know if you have a signed copy, but we might have to get a hold of each other after this so we can figure that out.
Speaker 2:I could do that. I love that.
Speaker 1:I love that. This has been such a great conversation to get to know you and find out about your work, and thank you for sharing about your struggles and, but mostly, the wonderful things that are happening for you. Where can everyone go to find your books? And you know your website all the good stuff.
Speaker 2:Well, it's just Christoff morrowcom. Actually, now I have that and there's all my links to everything the discord server, spotify, which has all the other like I've done, like over 40 something interviews in the last couple months, three months or something, and let's see there's. You know, I have a tick tock which has about 6000 followers, and Instagram and Facebook. All this stuff is. It has everything there. I would the Amazon link to my book and Kobo.
Speaker 1:Kobo is a I've heard about before, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's another marketplace for books and people don't want to get off of Amazon. It can get there. Shakespeare, shakespeare, yeah.
Speaker 1:It's been so nice to spend this time with you. Are you a mountain time as well in Vancouver Island? Are you Eastern time?
Speaker 2:I'm all West Coast.
Speaker 1:Okay, your Pacific time then maybe? Yeah, oh, that's lovely. I lived in Oregon for a long time, so it's as close as I got up that way it's really lovely.
Speaker 2:in Oregon there's moss everywhere.
Speaker 1:It's such a beautiful time of year Love it when spring's about to start and everything so well. It has just been so nice. I hope that we can stay in touch and I can check in on in on you and see how you're doing and then maybe have you back after volume three to talk a little bit about that.
Speaker 2:That would be amazing.
Speaker 1:I love that. All right, so thank you so much for being here today and we'll definitely be in touch.