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THE SJ CHILDS SHOW
🎙️ Welcome to The SJ Childs Show Podcast! 🎉
Join Sara Bradford—better known as SJ Childs—as she bridges understanding and advocacy for the neurodivergent community. This podcast shines a light on autism awareness, empowering stories, expert insights, and practical resources for parents, educators, and individuals alike.
Brought to you by The SJ Childs Global Network, a nonprofit dedicated to supporting autistic individuals and their families worldwide, this show is your weekly dose of inspiration and actionable ideas. Visit sjchilds.org to learn more about our mission, find resources, and connect with our growing community.
Catch us on platforms like Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Goodpods—or tune in Fridays at 8:30 AM EDT on the Helium Radio Network’s Life Improvement Radio (Channel 1). Together, let’s foster a brighter, more inclusive world! 🌟
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THE SJ CHILDS SHOW
Episode 254-Mastering the Journey of Parenting Teenagers: Resilience, Independence, and Embracing Neurodiversity with Chantal Cote
Every parent knows the road to raising teenagers is paved with a unique blend of challenges and triumphs. In our latest episode, we're joined by Chantal, a teen psychology expert, who offers a map for navigating this terrain with grace and wisdom. Together, we uncover the keys to fostering resilience and independence in adolescents, discussing the fine line between giving them the freedom to soar and the safety net they need. I reflect on my own parenting journey, sharing insights on the art of allowing our children to learn from their struggles and why a supportive stance can be more impactful than a controlling one.
Raising teenagers today requires us to evolve with the times, to understand the digital landscape they inhabit, and the pressures that come with it. In our conversation, we explore the critical role of communication, the power of understanding each family member's love languages, and the importance of setting boundaries around the pervasive influence of social media. Our discussion is a heartfelt look at how we, as parents, can craft an environment that respects our children's need for autonomy while establishing a framework that safeguards their well-being.
Our dialogue extends beyond traditional parenting as we delve into the realm of neurodiversity. From the personal stories I share about my own children's experiences with mentorship programs to Chantal's expertise in accommodating the needs of neurodiverse clients, we acknowledge the beauty and strength in their unique perspectives. This episode is a tribute to the resilience of families navigating these waters and serves as a beacon for those seeking to enhance understanding, inclusivity, and support within their own family dynamics. Join us for an episode that celebrates the complexities, the victories, and the transformative power of love in the journey of parenting teenagers.
Welcome to the SJ Childs Show, where a little bit of knowledge can turn fear into understanding. Enjoy the show. Hi, welcome to the SJ Childs Show today. I'm really excited to start this conversation. Shantel is someone who I've been looking forward to having on the show. I think we might have even had to reschedule once before, and I am so glad you know for graciousness and understanding. Thank you so much for being here today and making your time available for us. I'm so excited to share our conversation with my fantastic, wonderful listeners. Please tell us a little bit about yourself, introduce yourself, and we'll just go from there.
Speaker 2:Okay, that sounds great and thank you so much for having me on. And you're absolutely right, we did need to reschedule, which was a moment of ADHD burnout. I had taken on so much and then recognized I don't have the time for all of this.
Speaker 1:So I appreciate your grace, and that's mine to the testament, to mine as well.
Speaker 2:Oh, my goodness, yeah, it's okay. And so as I was preparing for this show, like mentally, just like, hey, what do I want to talk about? I just went back to like, okay, what do I do and who am I and how do I show up in this world? And so I have a private practice, which is a blend of therapy and coaching called pyramid psychology, where we focus specifically on supporting teens, so anyone from kind of 11 to 21,. We really cover the span of adolescents as much as we can, although we know the brain just keeps on developing well into its 20s, yeah, and we offer different types of supports, really at the core, trying to highlight and help teens, teen girls, really find their inner resources and their outer resources so that they can become resilient people that they, that they are.
Speaker 1:Yeah, isn't that the truth? And I think that, just like you know life itself, this couldn't have come at a better time in my life for us to have this conversation. You often find the things show up for you in times when you really need them, and having a 12 and 14 year old and a 12 year old daughter now is it's an essential time in not only her life but in my parenting her to really understand how to show up for her, how to honor her zest for independence, her, you know, love of learning, but her also curiosity of what the world has to offer right now for her. And how much kind of can she test in a and in a good way she's a good kid, you know, but how much can they test to really like, get that independence that they're really learning for inside, and how we as parents can provide this environment for them that's healthy, safe and still, you still have to deal with all the craziness that is today, which is a lot, is a lot.
Speaker 2:Totally. And what does that call forth from us as parents? Like I think that's a big thing to, and I I love the way you framed that because I had a shift a couple of years ago where I would hear myself saying things like, yeah, like, like teens today it's so different, it's so hard, like they're contending with so much. And I would hear other parents say that back to me too, and and I was thinking, you know, there is some truth to that that this is a different world than, say, I grew up in, parents grew up in. And at the same time, I was recognizing that that was not serving anybody.
Speaker 2:You know, to keep talking about the story that is like it's so hard, they can't handle it, they're dealing with so much. And when I heard one day I think I heard it on maybe a podcast or something it was someone had said, what if we could imagine that every teen and every youth and every child had that kind of like built in capacity to handle the time that they live in, and that our journey or our, our, our goal or which whatever you have it as parents is to like foster that place where they can, they can grow those seeds and stuff. I thought, wow, okay, yes, that is how I'm going to look at it. How can parents hold that belief and show up in a way that's going to help teens thrive and be okay in this world?
Speaker 1:Oh, it's so tricky and you know, I think I have a little bit of a head start, if you'll call it. I have a stepdaughter, she's 24. I was raising her since she was four, so 20 years now I've been in the parenting mindset, let's say. But the beginning years were formed from my own version of how parenting was for me. And now here we are, 20 years later. It looks no, nowhere close to what it used to be. And all of the learning and all of the trying new things, if you will, she's my third and the baby, even at 12, you know, still the baby.
Speaker 1:And so there's this different aspect to raising her. Not only that, but I realized really early on that one thing and I know listeners, I know you've heard me say this before, but I think it's so important to share and to just instill in anyone that's listening is that when she was really little, I would say to her now I want you to always remember, you are like you love yourself first. You don't love mommy more, daddy more, grandma more you love me. You love yourself first. That's what always comes first. And she's really like that.
Speaker 1:Confidence has stayed within her and, yes, it's like rocky times, like you said, and and it is hard, the world is hard, but she's resilient and I see that and I'm not saying that, that you know it's, it's a fixed thing and it can't be gone either way. However, right now, in the sense where she's at, I see the, I see her going through these struggles, but I also am following up with her on the back end, saying, no, are you really feeling like these feelings of like really deep depression or or, you know, confusion about things and she'll be, you know. So, no, like I'm okay, yeah, like I need someone to talk to, you know, and and she'll share these things with me. So, but it's challenging, isn't it? And setting those things up though I was so lucky to have that years of experience to go in there and then be like, okay, start this one over fresh.
Speaker 2:Thanks, yeah, yeah. When you spoke about the struggle and the resiliency piece, it just also reminded me of something to just hear as a parent and to hear over and over again is that it's not meant to be flawless, right, it's not meant to be. There are no bumps in the road, and I think sometimes, sometimes, we don't recognize that and we get really hard on ourselves or think, you know, worst case scenario when our children and teens are struggling, where, in fact, those, those struggles, the ones that are, I guess, like the healthy struggles, if you will, or the struggles that they can overcome, those are the ones that that grow their self confidence, that grow their, their resilience, and we want our kids to be able to make mistakes and to and to falter and then pick themselves back up, you know, and shake it off and be like, okay, let's keep going.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and you know, I think when they get older and this adolescence, we forget that. You and just like you just said, we want them to fall down and pick themselves up, just like they did when they were little and we had to let them learn how to walk. We had to let them learn how to fall down and pick themselves up. It's never ending it like literally has to, but you just have to learn where your role is in their life at that time to help, you know, foster those things and let them know that there's a soft landing or you know, a hand to pick them back up or whatever it may be. And I read something today is probably a meme or something that said along the lines of if you're making mistakes, you're being a perfect human. I love that, because we're not saying be perfect, we're saying make mistakes so that you can be human, so that you can be authentically yourself and just learn just like all the rest of us are doing.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, absolutely.
Speaker 1:And I think it's really tricky because I think parents put so much pressure on themselves to know or control. You know they want to, just they want to know too much, they want to be in too much of control of things and I think they lose sight of what damage that can do sometimes in a relationship. And you can really think about it in any relationship. What do you think is the best way to control? Do you put in relationships along, you know in other places of your life and you can't. You have to learn how to let go and what do you think? So you know, say that I'm just a family who has struggled with communication, who's having a team? That's just. We're not communicating well together. Where do we start? What?
Speaker 2:do you do to help?
Speaker 1:people, you know where do we start.
Speaker 2:When it comes to well, I think, like one thing that I find really important is to take a step back and offer ourselves some grace from the whole thing that we've been talking about before, like this okay, yeah, this communication thing has been a struggle.
Speaker 2:Maybe I haven't shown up in the way I've wanted, maybe we've been arguing a lot and doing a from now on, knowing that the from now on may not also be perfect and that's not the point.
Speaker 2:But it's like from now on I'm going to show up in this way or I'm going to focus on and I tend to go back to the relationship, and I tend to go back to what with parents is kind of trying to figure out what, for them, is really important. So I'm going to use the word values, but I think sometimes that doesn't necessarily make sense to folks that are like I don't know, I don't know, but going back to like what, what really is important to you, what matters to you, and at the end of the day, often it's things like you know, in 10 years, I want to be able to like chat with my daughter about what's going on in their lives. I want them to share their experiences with me. In 30 years. I want to maybe like be a grandparent and just like loving and doting and it's like that's what you get to, is like okay, so that's, that's great, so the relationship matters to you. So, from now on, what if we started with, with just that, small actions that are going to start building the relationship?
Speaker 1:So simple and tangible. And not only that, but measurable. If you are meaningful about it, I mean you can write down, you could make yourself self contract somehow, and not that it can't be changed. You know in the in the way that things always do change, so you have to be mindful of that always, especially in navigating what things are going to come up for them that you can't even like, consider already or have any idea about, because it's who knows what's coming right in the form of the future.
Speaker 1:But I Love that you said that, because what are your values? And I think that it's so important that we See that those things that you said are so much more important than oh, they have to get an A in this math class, they have to Not be on the phone after 10 pm, like I those things that we Knit, pick at, or, and I know that they're important to some people. I'm not trying to say that they're not important or don't also have their own space, but what? The ultimate goal in Well, like you said, I love that you put it out so far, and so, in those terms, it gives you a better idea of who you want to be yourself as a parent.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and then and then bringing it to these, maybe these really tangible Things like what is that? What could that look like in the in the day to day? Sometimes I will use this tool With parents, which which is and with teens. Actually, I can get them both in the room. That is, it's always I'm gonna use the word magical, but it's just something really cool happens if I can't get them both in the room.
Speaker 2:I think the concept often lands for folks to talk about this idea of this like emotional bank account and kind of talk about the relationship as, um, we have, we have deposits that that build trust and build connection in our relationship. In any relationship that we have, whether it's a parent, child relationship, a parent parent relationship, a anyone and there are withdrawals, there are things that are are done and said is that kind of like take a hit or erode at the trust and connection, and so sometimes even just taking a moment to really think about it in that framework and think about okay, in the day to day, what is that looking like right now? Like, how am I perhaps like putting deposits into this relationship with my teen? Am I and there's a trick to this too, because not every teen Receives deposits in the same way.
Speaker 2:So sometimes I hear parents say you know like I'm, I'm letting them know what a great job they're doing and telling them you know how, how much effort I see and everything. And we, we, just we get curious about that. We're like, okay, that's great. I wonder what your teen Thinks about that. I wonder if that feels like a deposit to them. Perhaps it's that quality time that drive you know To school or that drive to the mall together. They see that as quality time, and so it's also getting families to kind of communicate like what to them, what? What to each member feels like a deposit, what feels like withdrawal. That can be a really helpful, tangible tool to start talking about building the relationship.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I really love that and this is great because just my last episode was a gentleman that talked about the love languages and also how he had made a game with a dice that each the family can roll every day to see what language they wanted to practice for a certain amount of time.
Speaker 1:I like that, you know, and there's a little A little thing for him there, but, um, you know, it's so wonderful because after we had talked about that and and he you know, I went down and I had said to my daughter you know, my love language is acts of service and so when I'm bringing you these plates of food and these desserts and these things and serving you, it's how I'm showing you I love you, just so you know how to take it. And I think that it was such a great um exchange because Then she knows that's what I'm showing, how I'm showing up or whatever, and so I love that. You said that because learning your child and your own love languages to be able to give and receive and it's so important to receive Because and it received their love language in the way that they give it Because it also teaches them how to receive and that could be a really hard thing for the ego, for pride, for people in general. How do you help parents and teens Put that aside and deal with that ego?
Speaker 2:sometimes in those situations, oh, the first thing that drops into my mind is, um, practicing, getting like curious and and playful, and sometimes, sometimes it's just a glimmer of that, because parents are coming to me and things don't feel very playful and they don't feel very, very curious, they feel stressful and hard and scary. Uh, so I think a lot of acknowledging that the yeah, like that, that isn't, uh, a fun place to be in and it's so, it's so hard to feel stuck in that and also so, thinking about when I'm in that space there's no Movement for there's no possibility for movement. You know when we're in that place of Fear, you know, just based on brain, science and stuff, we, we are just in in survival mode and so we can't Think our way out of things or figure things out. And so, intentionally seeing if we can shift a little bit to get curious and even inserting just a little bit of playfulness, whatever that means to parents, can really help them step out a little bit of that place, of the ego, of all that stuff.
Speaker 1:It's really hard and I think that, like I said, I think that my shift in parenting has been our middle child is autistic and semi-verbal. He is heavy support needs and so with him parenting was totally, totally different. It's like a whole different, and my husband and I were just saying how we're almost glad, in a sense, that he's 14. We're kind of through that awkward, you know, kind of kid stage at that point and he never cared about his flaws or he never was worried about you know what he was going to look like to the outside world. He never carried those self-judgements or judgments from others or anything like that. What a beautiful gift for to be able to do that. I mean that also comes with its own deficits, unfortunately, but it's this give and take right and to have that is like this beautiful thing to see and then to kind of be able to take that calm parenting you have to be in line with, to be a parent for him and to be able for the next child to show up that way and now be in her coming into her teens.
Speaker 1:In fact, when she was 11, I would always call her 11. I always told her she was 11 because I mean it was the beginning, I knew it, you know it was right there hitting me in the face and so I just it's so hard to want what's best for them have a memory of. Well, this is what I did, this is what my parents did to get me into this place, but also not understanding. Like you said, they are receiving a huge amount of inundated information that we are not able to understand, because we weren't 12 when the Internet was hitting us with TikTok DMs every five seconds and all of the things you know, and we don't know what those pressures of those, that lifestyle, could look like for our kids. How can we kind of give them the safety guidelines, but also independence to start navigating that side of life and of the world?
Speaker 2:I want a tall. What a tall order man right. We'll take 10 navigators on this episode.
Speaker 2:Right, yes, yes, oh, my goodness, yeah, to me. I think that there is again kind of going back to the values piece and being curious, and what I mean by that is like what if we did? Or because I often will have parents maybe come to me and say, well, do I like limit something, like a question around social media, perhaps, like, do I just limit it all? Do I take it out of her room? Do I really specific questions? And, as annoying as it might be, I kind of ask, hey, can we just dig into that for a minute and kind of wonder what is that question actually asking? And I think oftentimes there's some guidance in there and perhaps it's like oh, I'm just worried that she's going to be inundated by a ton of influence that might be harmful for her. Or I'm worried about dot, dot, dot, fill in the blanks. And so then from there we're able to maybe come back to like, ok, well, what are some things that might help with that worry?
Speaker 2:And part of that might be the communication piece. How do we communicate parent and child about this topic? Part of it might be about are there resources and education things that I need as a parent or I would find helpful, as a parent, to understand this topic a little bit more. Are there certain expectations that are really important for me to put into place? And so it again brings you back to that place of being curious. Rather than the do I do this or do I do that, it's like, well, what is that actually about? And then how can we tend to the deeper thing and get you resourced so that you can support your team? Does that kind of make?
Speaker 1:sense, absolutely. I mean because we oftentimes don't realize, especially speaking about all of the information we can access, that we can access that we can even go on to the. I mean I know that I had a TikTok account before my daughter did, so I knew what it was going to be about and I knew what it was going to entail. I don't have a Snapchat and I know she really wants that and I don't know I'm. That's scary to me because I don't know what it's like and I don't know what kind of things are going on there. So maybe that's a really great idea, that something I can put into place right now is that I can get on there. I don't have to interact with everybody here. Whatever I'm an adult, I can make choices to be, you know, private or whatever, but it would at least give me maybe the sense and the calm mind, when she is old enough, that she's going to want to do it.
Speaker 1:And I think that the problem with maybe restricting too much learned experience here is that they will find it other places and still access it, whether you say so in your household or not, and that's, of course, a personal choice of any child or any person or communication or relationship, but it's truth and it's what has happened. So I'd rather it be something that's I can have a communication I can have the conversation about. It Can be something that's like a little bit safer guarded, if you will, or I don't know. It's really hard with the internet and with accessing them. I mean, there's all these parenting apps. Now you know we try to use those to our advantages, I guess, but it's still really hard when, again, your kids are curious about what they're missing out on in the world.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely, absolutely.
Speaker 2:We'll go back to, I think, back to that communication piece with our teens in particular, because they are and just before the show I think you were talking about like kind of navigating that independence that because that's a part of such an important part of adolescence is for them to build that sense of self, that autonomy, that independence that's going to launch them into adulthood and being okay.
Speaker 2:So we want them to be able to have that and we want them to know that we believe they are capable of doing that and that's really important. And so, communicating around things and figuring things out and knowing that it doesn't just have to be like a linear path in the sense of like okay, we've decided we're doing X and that's what we're going to keep on doing, like it's okay, to kind of like, hey, let's rethink this, like, oh, I thought this was maybe a good idea, but I'm not sure. I'm not sure about this because I'm concerned about this and this. And to be able to have those communication points and those conversations with our teens as well, I think is an important part of that process of growing that independence and of growing that capacity.
Speaker 1:And you don't get information from us through podcasts, getting information from YouTube, maybe learn some you know. Go on YouTube and see if there are some ways you can learn about some things that you might be considering for your teen to be able to use or to access things like that. What type of activities, like as a family, or even maybe activities for siblings or whatever, can we maybe start to set up with our kids to build better relationships in these teen years?
Speaker 2:I mean I like the idea and I've seen this kind of work well with families, where it's giving some ownership and leadership to the different people, the different family members. I'll give you an example, like in my family, and sometimes this works and sometimes it's a bust, and that's okay. We've learned to like just kind of be like okay, well, we'll try again next time. So we have a day in the month that we call try something new day, and each person, each family member, kind of gets a chance to decide like what's going to be that thing. And so sometimes it's my teen's turn to kind of decide what are we doing on the try something new day? And then another time it'll be mine, and then so on, so forth.
Speaker 2:And the only kind of rule, if you will, that we have is kind of like well, don't judge with what idea comes to the table, let's you know, let's just give it a go within reason. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I mean I like, I like that, I like right, I just I'm sorry we can't go to Disneyland today, it's not happening. But yeah, I find like bringing in opportunities for four things that have like different voices, and so I think that is really important. I think consistency over the actual type of activity is is important as well, and so if it's something like we have we have family dinners and we stay as consistent as we can about doing that on whatever two nights a week, every night of the week, one night a week we're consistent in it and so people learn to know what to expect and show up, and that's really important and, of course, like it depends on your, your family is.
Speaker 1:That is so true because we have a family full of well half of people who aren't comfortable with eating with others or food, or so we have to be really, really we have to honor everybody's where they're at, you know, in every family, and so I love that you said that are, I think our special activity we try to do when our son really tries, is it's very structured in his timeframes and that he likes things and so he's always reminding us family drive on Saturday or Sunday, go for a family drive, go for a family drive.
Speaker 1:And so we pack up in the car and we head out and I'm in Utah I'm not sure where you're at in the world, but yeah, we go out and just go for a drive and get away from our town and, you know, give fresh air and it's just nice time to enjoy. And sometimes they're fast and sometimes everybody, you know something happens and an argument starts between kids and gotta come home, but it's, you just have to be really flexible with those things. But I love that you said the consistency, because that is something that makes it memorable and special for everyone when they look back on it and they're like, oh, we did this all the time together and so I love that you said that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it kind of gets back to that place of like, what is our, our family stand for? And I was. I've been reading this, this book that really talks about that, and and I think at first my mind kind of went to this place of judgment of like, oh gosh, I don't know what my family stands for and I haven't been doing these things. And then, once I was able to let go of that a little bit, it it dawned on me that it was like it could be from now on, for now on, our family stands for this and that's okay too. And so if a parent is listening to this and thinking, oh, we are not doing any kind of relationship building stuff or we're just arguing all the time, or whatever, whatever the story is, it's okay. It's okay that that's where things are at. And it's also possible for it to be like okay, from now on we're going to start, we're going to start here, and I'll start small and we're going to build on it.
Speaker 1:What do we do for parents that might be single parents that work a lot, that have, you know, kiddos that are kind of, um, this might be a really big question too. What kind of resources in the community can we can they look for to help with their teen? Because, yeah, you can look for daycare when your kids are little, but what do we do with our teens when they're in this, you know, not really old enough to be home alone and and like responsible for themselves, but really need to still build relationships and maybe have opportunities to meet new people?
Speaker 2:That's such a it's such a beautiful question, and one of my very, very dearest best friends is a single mama and like, shout out to her and every single parent and only parent out there in the world, it's um, yeah, it just, it touches my heart. So, um, what I would say is to to know that it raising teens, whether we're an only parent, whether we're a dual parents system, a multi parent system it is not something that is designed to be done alone. Um, I think I heard one of your podcast guests just a little bit before saying, like the thinking, all the people that had influenced her in, in how she had created some things, and and that message of not doing it alone. And so I think, for for parents, it's it's like looking at what else might be a part of building those relationships, and it's it's important for my teen to have a relationship with me, and it's also important for my teen to have relationships with other people in the world that can serve as folks that they can trust and connect to, and maybe even folks in a mentorship role.
Speaker 2:And so here in Calgary so we're I'm over in Canada right now and in Calgary we have a like a variety of different programs. A lot of them are low cost, if no cost, and there are things like mentorship opportunities after school kind of like hangout programs, sports based, art based I know my girlfriend sometimes relies on, you know, her siblings or the neighbor. It's really creating those, those kind of natural supports, knowing that it can be. It can be lots of different people and so thinking outside the box but relying on the community resources as well.
Speaker 1:So important. We've recently kind of decided, because of our family's unique situation with, you know, our kiddos and sometimes there are places that aren't going to be accessible for my son to be able to go to. You know he, she just recently went to a STEM fair over, you know it, and saw all these science projects at all All these exciting things. And when she came home I said, oh, would DJ have been able to go? And she said no, absolutely not. There were balloons popping and banging things over here and and he just he couldn't have, he wouldn't have done. Well, and it's sad, you know, at the same time, the cool thing, the reason that she even was able to go, is because just recently we've joined the Big Brothers, big Sisters program and I don't know if they have that in Canada as well.
Speaker 1:But I thought what a better opportunity for my kiddo, who is 12 years younger, than her big sister, who is married and doing her own thing right now. And also her brother can't always go to these things and we're not. He always has to have a parent with him, so we're not always able as parents to go take her to all of these things. And so I reached out and we went through the process with them and really got an amazing mentor that she's it's fairly new, but it's, it's already. I see how wonderful it can be. And, like we, you know, started from scratch. We started from nowhere and now we're, you know, six weeks in or something and there's been amazing activities that she wouldn't have been able to go to otherwise.
Speaker 2:I love that. And back to your comment about like receiving. I think, as parents, that that is a big piece is being able to give ourselves permission to receive, and receive could be, could be just that saying yes, thank you, you know, thank you program that's allowing my daughter to go check this thing out. Or thank you like yes, getting them like to connect with someone else who is going to see their gifts and their resources and build their resilience.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly so. Lots of opportunities for you know, helping really foster an amazing path and journey for you, you and your child. You, you probably have online services, I'm assuming. Where can we go to find out more about you and connect with you?
Speaker 2:For sure. So anything at Pyramid Psychology. We are on most social media platforms. You can also go to our website, which is Pyramidsychologycom, where we talk about the different services, whether they're one-to-one or group-based. We do have online and virtual services that are both one-to-one and group-based, and so people can check us out there and see what we're all about.
Speaker 1:I love that and you know, excuse me, we didn't even really cover this, but I'm just going to plug this at the very end. Talk about how you might have experience for neurodiverse clients.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so well, there's a couple things we plug into the end. I appreciate that I'm just going to start with a little story, if that's okay. And so one of my kiddos so I have a preteen and a teen and one of my kiddos was about seven years old and he would come home every single day from school and he would say I'm so stupid, I hate myself and it would like break my heart and it still brings up emotion to kind of think about that. And I remember I don't know it was just like a time where he had said that and I just decided I was like nope, this is not okay, it's not okay and I need to take an action.
Speaker 2:And so we did some digging and some investigating and some whatever we could as parents, and it discovered that his beautiful brain is not neurotypical and he learns differently and processes information differently. And the environment that he was in was just not equipped to foster that knowing, that confidence and that beautiful stuff that we saw in him. And so I think for me I made a declaration, if you will, or a decision that day that like, okay, I was going to do everything I could to help him kind of see what worked for him to learn how to advocate for himself, to learn how to understand himself and not have to try and always change for the world to fit him, but more like come out and be like, okay, this is what I need. So the world, you're gonna have to work with me too. And so, with that being said, I think in our practice, there are just different things that we might offer, and it's really important for us to help our clients make decisions, even if it's I was saying to you at the beginning, when they come in, like the lighting, even things like that, like how do we create an environment that that works?
Speaker 2:And so, using things like, yeah, like the lighting, the temperature, the types of textures, what would be okay to do today? Do you want to work with the whiteboard? Do you want to work on paper? Do you want to do neither of those? You know, and so I think a lot of like checking, checking to understand and offering, offering different ways of being able to reflect, communicate and process things. I love that. It's a work in progress, to be honest.
Speaker 1:Isn't it? And aren't we all you know? And constant, especially parenting. It's a constant work in progress and, yeah, this has been such a wonderful conversation today. I'm so glad that that we were able to find the time and, you know, show up for one another, and it's so great to just connect with you. I love being able to connect with people in other countries. I think it's just magical and fantastic, because how would we have ever met otherwise? And it's just so beautiful. So thank you so much for being with me today.
Speaker 2:Thank you, sarah. I really appreciate having a chance to to talk about things and hopefully this podcast will find its way to someone who finds value in it.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. Thank you, and I'd love to stay in touch.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. Thank you so much. Thanks for doing what you're doing, thank you.
