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THE SJ CHILDS SHOW
🎙️ Welcome to The SJ Childs Show Podcast! 🎉
Join Sara Bradford—better known as SJ Childs—as she bridges understanding and advocacy for the neurodivergent community. This podcast shines a light on autism awareness, empowering stories, expert insights, and practical resources for parents, educators, and individuals alike.
Brought to you by The SJ Childs Global Network, a nonprofit dedicated to supporting autistic individuals and their families worldwide, this show is your weekly dose of inspiration and actionable ideas. Visit sjchilds.org to learn more about our mission, find resources, and connect with our growing community.
Catch us on platforms like Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Goodpods—or tune in Fridays at 8:30 AM EDT on the Helium Radio Network’s Life Improvement Radio (Channel 1). Together, let’s foster a brighter, more inclusive world! 🌟
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THE SJ CHILDS SHOW
Episode 256-The Link Between Self-Esteem and Academic Success: Insights from Gabrielle Crichlow
Have you ever pondered the intricate dance between a child's self-esteem and their academic success? Gabrielle Crichlow, the founder of Step Ahead Tutoring Services, joins us to illuminate this fascinating interplay. From her early days as a peer helper to a full-fledged entrepreneur, Gabrielle's journey epitomizes the transformative power of education. She offers a treasure trove of insights on how fostering a positive self-image in students is just as crucial as nurturing their academic prowess.
This conversation peels back the layers of individualized educational support, aligning with the Common Core standards, and how it's tailored to meet the unique learning styles and needs of each child. We delve into the nuances of assessing students, incorporating perspectives from parents, teachers, and specialized documentation like IEPs. Gabrielle shares her flexible approach to tutoring, which eschews rigid timelines and instead emphasizes growth at a child's own rhythm, especially for those facing challenges like ADHD or cognitive impairments.
To wrap up, we touch on the delicate aspects of parenting in relation to child development. The importance of communication and the profound impact of our words on a young mind's psyche cannot be overstated. We discuss the pressures that academic expectations can impose on children and how parents play a pivotal role in shaping a supportive, understanding environment. Our dialogue underscores the necessity of an open, ongoing conversation, promising to revisit these themes and continue supporting each other in nurturing the leaders of tomorrow.
Welcome to the SJ Childs Show, where a little bit of knowledge can turn fear into understanding. Enjoy the show. Hi, welcome to the SJ Childs Show. Today I am with Gabrielle, and is it Critchlow? Is that how I pronounce that?
Speaker 1:Yes, Critchlow.
Speaker 2:Good, good, it's so nice to have you here today. Thanks for joining me and being patient with rescheduling timing. I've offered back the same and we're good now. And yeah, I really had a nice time on your show and it's great that, but a little one-sided, you got to know me.
Speaker 1:Now I'm excited to return the favor and get to know you, yeah, yeah, we're just adjusting my screen here, but we're what's the word? Gas swapping?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, right, and it's so nice too, because we both know the value in that and then sharing each other's stories and supporting one another I'm always a big fan of you know you rise by lifting others. So it's exciting to have you here today and I know my audience will like the topics and the entrepreneurship we're going to talk about and, most importantly, the services and company I guess, if you want to call it that you own, and I'm looking forward to get to know more about it. So tell us a little bit about yourself and what brought you here.
Speaker 1:Well, I am an entrepreneur. I have my own tutoring company called Step Ahead Tutoring Services. What brought me here is I want to share this as a resource for parents, right that they don't have to struggle alone. Well, they don't have to struggle at all, I should say. You know, I got into the tutoring field. I was a private tutor since 2005. I just became an official business owner in 2013.
Speaker 1:But just what got me into the field is the ability to connect with students in a personal light. It's something that I just discovered. You know, I knew I was the smart kid in school and an opportunity came up for me to help some other students with their homework and understanding concepts and breaking it down. So I just thought to myself like, okay, I'm a smart kid, you know, I think I could do it. And I jumped into it and I realized that, one, I could do it and two, it was an opportunity to challenge myself, because it's one thing to know something. It's another thing to explain it to somebody else, and so, being able to take a major concept and to break it down and to try to explain it in 20 different ways in a way that the student will understand it, and also assessing the student themselves and their ability to comprehend. You're doing all that in a short amount of time and so it's, you know, like figuring out, do they know the foundational skills and do they know this? And then you realize they're lacking other things because with, particularly for math, the skills built on top of each other. So you know, if you're in calculus I mean, I don't personally tutor calculus, but it's a little out of my reach but I have tutors under me who do you know, if you're in calculus, great, but if you don't know your basic times tables, you're going to be lost, right? Like if you don't know how to multiply without a calculator. I would say that you know you're going to be lost, and so you need the foundational skills, and so that's one of the things that I emphasize in my tutoring is the knowledge of foundational skills, I mean as well as whatever they're doing at the time.
Speaker 1:But I really try to make sure that the students get the foundation, because I was like the common metaphor if you don't have a foundation, your house falls apart. So you got to have the thing at the bottom. So that's one of the things that and I guess it goes into it gives me insight into the type of students that I tend to see. But yeah, that's one of the things that I build my company on is do you know the basics? Do you know the foundation? I was one thing to know what you're doing now, and it's another thing to not get the foundation in order to get there. So that's one of the things that I've built my company on is getting your foundation, getting your beginning, so you can get to the middle and the end Right.
Speaker 1:And another thing that I've built my company on is it's not just grades and self-esteem, right. So there's a connection between how you do in school and how you feel about yourself. So that's another thing that I've also built my company on is if you get this one thing, then you fix the other thing by consequence. So it's like. Another common metaphor is like the dominoes right, you knock one domino, the rest fall down Right.
Speaker 1:So it's, you know, you fix how they do in school, you fix the academics, you address that and you give them positive reinforcement. You can do this, keep going. You got this. Hey, you know you made a mistake. Let's fix it again. And mistakes can be fixed. Let's get some practice in. Let's drill it, let's do some drills. And the more you encourage, the more reinforcement. And even when the negative self-talk comes out I'm silly, I'm stupid, I make stupid mistakes. I'm horrible? No, you're not. You're struggling, you know. You're figuring things out. This can be fixed. Let's just do it over, let's find another way to do it, you know, and showing them that it's it's learning is not linear, right, it's all over the place. So there's more than one way to see something, and you know my job as a tutor and what I encourage my other tutors to do is to try to find multiple ways to teach the same thing. So all that to say is I'm to answer your question. I think I went all over the place, but I'm here because I want your parents to know and your audience to know that my services are available.
Speaker 1:And if you know your child is struggling in school, for whatever reason, maybe they're, you know, missing homework, maybe they took a lot of days off of school and now they have to catch up, maybe they're, maybe they lack focus, and I think your audience particularly is children with learning disabilities, I believe. So if your child has a learning disability, well, we don't do all learning, you know we don't address all learning disabilities at this time, but it is something that we do work with. So the common ones we tend to see are ADHD, so, and IEP is 504, so we do work with students with disabilities, but just select one at this time. But all that to say is this if, for whatever reason, if your child is falling behind the school system and unfortunately in you know, as 17 and under, you know, school is part of the child's identity, right? And if you're not doing well in school, then Fortunately the idea is you're not really doing well in life. We're going in and we're changing that. It's just like we just live in this big system. Yeah, it's funny how just the concept of school consumes a child's life until they're 18. It's interesting that we live in this big system of rules.
Speaker 1:But all I have to say is that is to really help your child navigate this part of life and just knowing that once you conquer school, you can conquer anything.
Speaker 1:So that's what I bring to your audience today and my services provide that, and I know parents are usually like they try to do it themselves first and sometimes it doesn't always work. Sometimes you need an outside party. You need somebody different because if you're, it's how the child perceives you as the parent. So if the child just sees you, the parent right, and you're trying to help them with school, and they're not really going to see you as the teacher, they'll just see you as your mom, right, and even the parent themselves. If the child makes them Like if you're used to yelling at your kids and then for If they don't clean their room, and then now you're helping them with their homework and then make a mistake on the homework and now you're yelling at them because they're getting it wrong, it's like, well, you know, and the child's not going to respond. So that's Commonly when parents with child. To me, they just need somebody else to tell them the exact same thing. Yeah, isn't that the truth.
Speaker 2:I need to pause us for one second. Yeah, it's really important that you take time to hear your kids, especially when they need help. If you're a parent out there, if you're an educator, help you know. Getting your students help outside of the classroom is also so important, because we went through lots of years where our student was struggling and we didn't know and when we had to bring her home we found out very quickly that you needed some help and the tutoring was just a lifesaver. And it's so necessary that what you're doing, you know getting in there and giving those kids that one-on-one, which also, I think, is important for their self-esteem and feeling like.
Speaker 2:I mean, I think at first, from my experience with our child, you know they're a little embarrassed or a little bit ashamed or afraid that they are behind. But once you help them understand and, like you said, show them like things are, you can fix things, you can, we can make things, adjust things, we can go back and figure out why we don't understand things and try to learn new ways. And a lot of that also comes with understanding their learning style, isn't that the case? So how do you guys kind of access? Do you have an assessment or something? Or how do you kind of base it on what parents say, as far as, like, if a child is more of a visual learner rather than hands-on learner and such yeah, so we don't do formal assessments.
Speaker 1:It's more of I do kind of leave it up to the tutor, but I will. Generally speaking, it's more like direct observations, yeah, so in terms of, well, it's observation, it's also parents, parental reports, it's using a variety of outside sources to assess that. Nothing formal right now, but I think once you work with a child, you will work with a student. I should say you get a sense, it's a vibe that you pick up. I know, I believe that we feed off of each other. I believe in spiritual connections, and so I believe that we feed off of each other. So you get a vibe of the student in a way. So, yeah, you want to hear what the parent says, and if you're lucky enough to talk to the teacher, that's good too. Or read the report cards, that's good too If you can get all that collateral information. But it's more like observation. So we go in with an expectation of and we follow the Common Core over here in New York that you're supposed to know certain skills in a certain grade. So if, for example, fourth grade math is just easier for me to explain, but fourth grade math, you should know how to multiply up to three digits, I believe I believe up to three digits. I think fifth grade you should be able to multiply up to four digits. So we check, so we see, do they know how to multiply, do they have that basic skill? And then, ok, do they know how to go up to two digits? And then do they know how to go up to three digits? So it's one thing at a time, so it's a lot of factors. It's pretty much to answer your question. So nothing formal, but it's really just like we hear what the parent says. If we're lucky which I strongly encourage all parents is to have all that collateral info. So show the tutors the report cards, see if you can connect the tutor with the teacher, and so that's one thing I strongly encourage to get all that background information.
Speaker 1:But we also use a lot of, like I said, observations. So are you meeting your? Are you on reading level for your grade? Are your math skills on grade level? Are you below grade level? Are you above grade level? So those are things that we look for and in terms of what types of learners they are. Again, we like to get the outside reports. So again, strongly encourage, make sure parents talk to your tutors. But again, that's another thing that we pick up.
Speaker 1:So it's things like so, like some students learn better by just hearing it. So I'm just going to tell you what to do and you understand. I'll not tell you what to do. Explain it to you with a lot of talking. Other students, for example, like ADHD students, the ones that I've worked with, they tend to be visual learners or and our tactile learners they got to move with their hands.
Speaker 1:So it's the MN and the challenges. Okay, how do I explain this? Using like marbles or you know, or? A lot of the time is online, so it's okay. How do I get you to write on the screen, you know? So things like that, as opposed to let me write it out for you, when you read it out, you read it to me. Maybe let's find a way for you to write on the screen. Let's use your mouse and your fingers and things like that. So, so, to answer your question, I tend to ramble. It's parental, it's reporting from parents, reporting from teachers. If we can see the report cards, great, we can see the IEPs, which is a very helpful and just being in the moment with the student and just eating off of the vibe and trying different things and just observing the student and getting to know them.
Speaker 2:How long is the process? Is there a set schedule or like an eight week, 12 week kind of thing, or is it just individualized to each student?
Speaker 1:It's individualized, so I don't like to put time on things, so it is individualized. So, however long it takes, yeah, yeah, so I mean, usually the tutor figures it out Maybe, and I would say in the first few weeks, I would say in the first few sessions, we kind of we start figuring things out, and it also depends on how open the parent is. Sometimes the parents, unfortunately, don't disclose everything and we find out through observation, like, okay, they didn't. You know, the child has a cognitive. What's the word Impairment maybe? Yeah, cognitive parent. The parent doesn't know. Or maybe they're ashamed or they're just like, oh, there's nothing wrong with them, right, but then no, no, we see it.
Speaker 2:And that's tough for parents, but it's tough on educators and tutors too, because they. What I think it's so sad and some parents don't understand, and especially ones early in the process, is that it is like a freedom, it's like an independent card, it's like you can get whatever you need with this understanding of whatever might be going on. And it's not like I would rather have my child, in my case, be labeled autistic rather than a weirdo out in public or naughty because he doesn't listen. There's just so many other ways we can provide support for our kids, and by being afraid of them not fitting into society, we're also disempowering them and ourselves and not, you know, standing up to help them just become better students. And and yeah, let's try that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, absolutely, and I think it's with parents. They have to be honest about their children. So and I mean I tend to see it with families of color, minority families as well, but it's in general parents need to be honest about their children and that they're having. They may have some difficulties learning and, again, where school, unfortunately, is a part of the kids life, it's a big system of rules that's governing kids. So you know, and do have to navigate that part of life, but it's be honest about your kids.
Speaker 1:You know, if there's a, if you notice something a little off, right, you know, get that checked out, get that evaluated. And even I mean you see it in behavioral issues like they again, I think I probably will see it more with maybe someone who autistic or with ADHD, like they may have these outbursts or tantrums, right it's. You know, that's the only way they can express their frustration is to the tantrums, right. So so, and don't don't be so quick to label them as, like all your undisciplined bad behavior, they're just awful, they don't listen. That could just be them acting out because something deeper is going on. So, before you write them off, as you know they're, they're a rule breaker and you know they keep having tantrums and things like that. It's okay, they might check to see if there's something deeper going on and maybe they're struggling to understand because they don't understand right, or they and just you know it's.
Speaker 1:Don't look at kids as stupid or you got to watch what you say around your kids parents. They pick up. They pick up on that. You know. Don't use words like stupid, idiot, like why can't you just figure it out? They pick up on that, right. So yeah.
Speaker 1:So there's a lot, but all I have to say is, you know, be honest about your children. If For lack of a better phrase if they seem off, have that, look that, have that evaluated, talk to a school counselor. It's preferred if you talk to your pediatrician, even more preferred if you go to a neuro psychologist. But yeah, have that, look that. If they seem off, talk to your pediatrician about that. Maybe a neuropsychologist is more preferred. Yeah, and don't look at tantrums and bad behaviors. Oh, they're troubled, trouble. Some don't be so quick to write them off as horrible. They may be acting out because there's something again deeper going on.
Speaker 2:That's really tricky to communication is even for adults. I mean, how many adults do you know in this day and age who don't communicate correctly, or even positively or in a meaningful manner, and it's so. It's impossible for us to expect children to have communication styles that work, since we have to be the ones to model them and be that example of how to have some conflict resolution ideas, so we're how to ask for help. I think that's probably a big thing. That, you see, is that kids generally tend to withdraw and then maybe not ask for help as much as they need.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that's, you know, that's a sense of pride thing as well. So it's twofold with that. It's in terms of kids being confident enough to ask for help. I think that goes into the self esteem, that goes into mental health and depression, and because school is such a part of their identity, and then if they're failing at school, then they feel like failures themselves and so they're embarrassed to talk to parents about it. But then it's also on the parents side and that are you receptive to that information? You know, are you? If it can a child comfortably come to you and say I'm struggling, I need help? And if they feel afraid to talk to you, then how are you presenting yourself to the child? You know.
Speaker 1:So that might be controversial what I just said, but you know it's, it's got to be said. You know, if the child does not feel confident to talk to you, then you need to look at yourself as a parent and say why does my child feel afraid to talk to me? So, um, and you know, don't be so dismissive about it and say, well, you should. They should be able to come to me. I'm here, why don't you? I'm sorry, it's a reflective of my own upbringing, but it's you know. You got to look at yourself and say why is my child afraid to talk to me?
Speaker 2:You know, like if they are struggling in school, you know?
Speaker 1:or can they comfortably say I'm struggling in school, you know, and are you. And unfortunately some parents put a lot of pressure on their kids and say you got to get that hundred, you got to get that a. But if they fall a little below that, you know, some parents are like what's wrong with you?
Speaker 2:Shame yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so there's that shame yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I agree. Not it is. There's a lot. So I think it's. You know, if your child doesn't tell you that something's wrong, you know, do they have the space to tell you that something is wrong? And, being that child myself, you know, I've been afraid to tell my parents something. So it's like is your child comfortable in talking to you about these things? And how do you, as a parent, view failure? How do you perceive failure? How do you conceptualize failure? And when you fall short, below reaching a goal, how do you, as a parent, take that in right? If you have these goals for your child and they fall below that, what is your reaction? How do you perceive that? And that's something parents should look inside themselves and figure out about themselves, and that might be a sign of their own childhood and their own trauma.
Speaker 1:You may have to look at yourself, you know, but yeah, so when you fall short of your goals, which happens, you know. What is your reaction. How do you respond to that? You know, your child comes home with a 55, you know, how do you? What is your response to that? What's your, you know?
Speaker 1:So it's something that parents should be aware of and they should ask the question do create space for the child to feel comfortable in discussing failure and discussing falling short of goals, and not putting so much pressure on reaching the goal. Yes, you want them to reach a goal, let's, I'll make that clear, let's make that clear. But are you putting a lot of pressure on them? You know, oh, they have a 85 and you know, but it's, oh, but it's not a 95, you know, so it's, I've gotten that too, so, yeah, so it's in terms of asking for help. I think children respond to their environments and if they don't have the space and if they don't feel comfortable in asking for help, because they don't feel that they can disclose that without feeling threatened, there's gonna be a problem. And then you're gonna have the parent who's like well, my kid doesn't talk to me. Well, why is that? You know?
Speaker 1:ask yourself ask yourself why does my kid not wanna talk to me? What environment am I creating? What did I do, you know, for my kid to feel that way? So there has to be some self-exploration with that, but also with parents and just being accepting the fact that sometimes you fall short of being a parent. And that's okay. You know you don't have to. You may not be an excellent parent. You might be struggling, you know, like my kid's not doing well and I don't know what to do. And it's okay to not be okay.
Speaker 2:And ask for help yourself yeah.
Speaker 1:And ask for help yourself. Yeah, oh, with that there's no shame, you know, so, don't? There's no shame. And if you need help, lean on your community, reach out to your peers and reach out to a tutoring company, you know.
Speaker 2:Perfect place to be at this moment in time, absolutely. Where and in.
Speaker 1:New.
Speaker 2:York. There's no shame, are you? Do you just do local, or are you online? Tell us about those kinds of services.
Speaker 1:Yes. So in terms of so, we do in-person and virtual. So the in-person is local to our area, which is New York City and Long Island, but don't fret, because we also do virtual services across the United States. And you know, I'm looking. I mean, I would love to try Canada. So if someone has to speak Canada, hit me up. I love to explore, you know, global tutoring, but yeah, but definitely across the US. So I think one beauty of the pandemic, because I had, I was forced to be virtual, but now that we're in this field and we flourished in this field, it's like, okay, we can, I could definitely see virtual tutoring. I actually like it, it has its place. So, in terms of our specific services, we do one-on-one tutoring, we do a test prep, college counseling, editing and proof reading. We do a variety of workshops as well.
Speaker 2:So, Tell us where to find you. Where is your website?
Speaker 1:Yeah, so my website, our website, I should say, is wwwastepaheadtutoringservices, or word word. You can also find us on social media. So we're on. We're on most of the platforms, so just put in a step ahead tutoring services and we will pop up. You look for the logo of the pencil with the grand black tip at the bottom. That is us. So we are on most of the social media platforms. So you can find us Instagram, tiktok, Facebook, twitter, akax and Eventbrite as well, so make sure you follow us and YouTube Gotta.
Speaker 1:YouTube too. Youtube, oh my God.
Speaker 2:I'm from.
Speaker 1:I'm a subscriber so.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry, youtube, thank you.
Speaker 1:Definitely YouTube. Follow us on all of that as well. Just a step ahead tutoring services we will pop up and we also have a podcast which you are a guest on, so you could find us on any of your podcast platforms. Our podcast is called Hot Topics, so we cover a lot of hot button topics in the educational field, as well as mental health and social services and all that good stuff. So you can listen to our podcast Hot Topics on your favorite platform, whether it's Spotify or Apple or Good Pods. You could also find us through there as well.
Speaker 2:Perfect. And while you're there, of course, go check out my episode with Gabrielle and also a step ahead tutoring. Please go follow them on all their pages, go support them and go check out Hot Topics podcast so that you can listen there and stay up to date with all of the information. Thank you so much for joining me today and I look forward to staying in touch so that we can find out if anything else changes or comes in the future, and that'd be great.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely. Please keep in touch, I think you're coming back on again.
Speaker 2:right, I think so, and a week or two maybe. Yeah, talk about my own personal journey rather than my children's this time. So, thank you so, so much. I look forward to chatting with you then.
Speaker 1:Thank you.
