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THE SJ CHILDS SHOW
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THE SJ CHILDS SHOW
Episode 288-Building Family Bonds Through Games and Books with Zorina Prichett
Miss Zorina, a resilient veteran and dedicated caregiver, joins us to share her wisdom on intentional parenting and child development. We delve into the unique challenges faced by parents in the wake of COVID-19 and the strategies that can help overcome them. Zorina recounts her personal journey of raising her son and granddaughters, highlighting the transformative power of consistent affirmations and accountability. We reflect on our own parenting experiences, emphasizing the importance of creating a safe space for open communication and nurturing children into respectful, responsible citizens.
We also explore Zorina's creative projects, including her thrilling new game "Zomatic Shift" and her touching children's book "Dancing Teardrops." Zorina opens up about the hurdles and triumphs she faced getting her game picked up by Walmart online, as well as the heartfelt themes of family bonding and resilience in her book. The discussion underscores the significance of helping children handle transitions with creative strategies and staying connected with them through meaningful moments. As we contemplate the fleeting nature of childhood, we stress the value of cherishing time spent together and remaining engaged in our kids' lives.
Welcome to the SJ Child Show, where a little bit of knowledge can turn fear into understanding. Enjoy the show. Hi and welcome to the SJ Child Show. I am so excited today. I've already had this amazing conversation with Miss Zarina and I'm just so thrilled to introduce you to her today and tell you about the amazing ideas that she has put into real life, made them tangible, made them accessible. Thank you so much for being here today.
Speaker 1:Thank you for having me, Sarah. It is truly a pleasure to join you.
Speaker 2:Oh, I love it. And you're such a wonderful community spirit. You just have this beautiful sense about you to help the community and, like great minds, think alike, right. So I'm so excited. Tell us a little bit about yourself today, and then we'll get on to what you've created.
Speaker 1:Oh wow. You know, sometimes talking about ourselves is always hard, right. But first off, I am a veteran. I'm also a disabled veteran and I'm a caregiver for my brother and I'm a retiree from the federal government. Even though I'm retired, I still continue to help our veterans to get their disability claims, because many of them have difficulty, and I have that expertise. I just completed my first children's book, dancing Teardrops. It's going to be coming soon. As she alluded to, I am a game creator. I came into that space about a couple of years ago and so I'm just excited. But my biggest achievement is my big heart for children today and wanting them to continue to develop their social skills, because Sarah COVID robbed some of our kids of that, and I want to make sure that they can grow up to be model citizens, respectful, and have civility, and so I'm hoping that I can have a positive impact.
Speaker 2:I love that and thank you. Thank you for having that insight for the youth, because I do agree more than anything that it and I don't know how anybody else doesn't see it this way but they're literally at the future of generations to come and need to instill them with as many tools and their toolkits as they can have.
Speaker 2:And I think that a lot of times you know, you see in families just kind of going about their day to day and nothing seems very intentional. Sometimes we and I think we all do our lives get busy and appointments and school and you know all the things start happening. But sometimes we need to really slow down and we need to really look at what kind of intentions are we putting into our children, what kind of values are we talking to them about? Or, when they're really little, what kind of practices are we putting into place? That totally reminded me.
Speaker 2:We had something called the bread for family rules and it was up on the refrigerator and when my two little ones were really little, just like toddler, and could speak, you know barely, um, our family rules were you have to be honest, you have to be strong, you have to be why? No, let's say you have to be honest, you have to be fair, you have to be strong and you have to be wise. And I saw it in some book somewhere that I just copied and put up onto our fridge and we would all repeat that and we had the hand signals and put our muscles up for strong. They were so cute and I remember them just repeating that over and, over and over again in my hopes that it would sink in enough that would be a practice for them. I have to ask them if they remember those rules now that they're 12 and 14. I'm going to see what they say.
Speaker 2:They probably do. Yeah, what do you think is kind of the best foot forward when you're trying to be intentional with your children?
Speaker 1:Well, when I was raising my son and with my granddaughters we had a little bottle too I told my son I came across this quote, and I don't remember who the author, but it says if it is to be so, it is to be so by me. And so I told my son whatever you're doing, obviously you're giving the signal of OK, whether that's to be brilliant and achieve or to act up in school, you're the one that's in control of the outcome. And so, with my granddaughters, I wanted to try something different besides that quote. But I teach them that I want them to be beautiful, I want them to be kind and that they're smart not necessarily in that order. And so what I found out with the consistency of our children, it is so good if you can come up with something and you find a creative way to tie that into, whether you're praising them or you're trying to discipline them.
Speaker 1:And I give you an example when my girls would act up, I would hit every one of those touch points. I would ask them what you did was that kind? And they'll answer was it a smart thing to do? Did it make you feel beautiful? And it's amazing how, by consistently doing that, they knew that was going to always be my reference. Besides, I told them I don't reward mean girls as parents, especially in this day and time. If you can find something, a great affirmation that's going to build them up, but also when there's time to discipline them, you can tie it into that so it can be planted on good ground and that you're continuously watering it so it can grow and fester and help them to be good citizens in the future. Because they need that consistency, they need that accountability and, most importantly, parents, they need us to support them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and the support definitely you know I've learned for our family comes in the sense of sense of being making a safe place to be able to talk, and I think in our family and I'm just saying it for our family because I don't want anyone else to say, well, that's not how it is for me Because you know we have given the ability to kind of just bring up anything you need to like. If you don't agree, I want to know that too. I'm okay with you not agreeing with me. It's not about I'm not perfect, I don't have all the answers. I'm not the governor of the house, you know. I guess I'm the safety I'm going to make you stay safe in these boundaries that we're going to set for you.
Speaker 2:But at the same time, I want you to have a voice, because I think that that's something I felt like and we kind of talked about our backgrounds a little that I was never allowed to have, that it was like nope, this is the way you do it, this is the way it's done, this is how you carry yourself, this is that's it. And so I really thought that you know, if I could put my intentions into this human being, to allow them to have a voice. It's like a growing everything you know. Sometimes it's not going growing well, you need to water it more, right and things like that. And sometimes it's flourishing and it's being and it's amazing. So I think it's really, like you said, the repetitive nature of it. I love that you say kind of make a soft landing spot to go to revert back to in these. You know, in the frame that you're speaking of, that's so easy for them to feel safe and accepted and you know a place where they can really just be open about what they need to be supported for.
Speaker 1:That's true. And also I just thought about something when you were saying, because I felt the same way when I was growing up, I didn't have a voice, and I think today parents do their kids a disservice when they don't let them have a voice, and I was thinking how do we let them have a voice? So this is just something that I was thinking about and I called it watch, study, learn or however you want to say it. And when I say by watch, how many of us really watch our children? I mean like, really, like you learn a job or art, study your children, watch their movement, how their moods are, what triggers their moods? Learn your children. You know some parents are so quickly to say, oh, my child won't do that, and then when they find out the truth, they're like, oh my God, they must have got it from somewhere else. No, I think today we need to watch our children where you know them, learn them and study them.
Speaker 1:No-transcript. It's very refreshing that if you imagine you're sitting down with your child and you're having a conversation and you tell your child I know what it felt like, I can imagine how you must feel and then you're able to articulate to your child how much you know them. Because once you feel like someone knows you or what's another way the kids can say they get you, it brings down a barrier, it makes you feel like you're in so far, I'm in a safe space because obviously this person know me. And then, once you navigate through whatever you're trying to do intentionally to get information from your child, or you're trying to elevate them to understand leadership, whatever that is, I guarantee you, if you take some time and I know everyone's busy, sarah but if you take some time to watch and study and learn your children, you'll be amazed how you can help them navigate through this world where they're being inundated with so much decision on whether it's their sexuality or should I play them because I don't want people to think I'm you know this way, that way, Am I pretty? Am I not pretty?
Speaker 1:If you know your child, it would be such a reward because then they can feel that they have a voice and you allow them to speak up. No judgment, no projecting on what you want them to be. Just enjoy this beautiful gift that God has given you to nurture, to love and to steer in the right way. But again, as you were saying, let them have a voice where they, if nothing else, they should feel safe at home. That is their refuge and, as parents, we can make that happen. Teachers can't make that happen. They're trying to help everybody else, but we can make that happen, sarah. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're exactly right. I think what a good lead up to this amazing idea you had. That can really help with families and children at school. Let's talk about that and talk about how that came to be.
Speaker 1:Well, actually it came from a dream back in 21. I was telling Sarah in a previous conversation. For two years I was focused on my brother that had a brain stroke and I think God must have said she needs something for herself. But it really also came very instrumental because one of the things I noticed, and many of you may notice kids are on their phones all the time some of them and I noticed that my granddaughters would be on their phones and I go into their house and I'm like where's your parents? Oh, they're upstairs sleeping or they're upstairs watching TV. And I'm like where's the family connection here?
Speaker 1:And so when I developed the game from the dream, I tested it with my family. They like it. I expanded it, I started testing it with other kids and families and they liked the quick play. And so I put the game away and my granddaughter said Gigi, I want to play that new game. And I tore up my house you guys looking for that game. And she said Gigi, it's a fun game, I think kids will like it.
Speaker 1:And when I first started playing the game with my child, my granddaughter, we didn't know she had problems with regulating her emotions, and what I mean is that when she would lose, she started throwing cards everywhere, just throwing the cards, getting angry. But as we continue to play, she was able to get that in check. And finally I asked her why does she like the game? And she said, gigi, I like it because it's different. And she said, gigi, I like it because it's different. I like it because it's fast and, most important, I like it because it creates memories with my family.
Speaker 1:Because they act crazy when they play.
Speaker 1:They want to know all kinds of antics, and so when I thought about that, I say you know, that's what we need for our kids and our parents.
Speaker 1:Parents don't have time to play these long, drawn-out games. So if you can come up with something that's a quick play that they can connect with their kids and talk about their day, the kids talk about their day while having fun, and then you can also use it as a learning tool in teaching kids their colors or how to follow directions or even regulate their emotions, how to properly do that. And so that's when I felt like, wow, there's something here and I want to promote it for the good of society but, most importantly, for our kids. I want them to feel like children. I love hearing their laughter. It is so priceless and, like I told Sarah earlier, I had an opportunity to play the game with the artistic children and that was the highlight that made me want to invest, spend the time and really make games that are inclusive so all children can connect with their family and friends, and I call it creating giggles and wiggles of fun and that is what I want to do.
Speaker 2:Oh, I love that. And what's the name of?
Speaker 1:the game. Actually it's called Zomatic Shift. You know how nomads kind of move around.
Speaker 1:Well, because my game is a chance style game and you do have the matching of color cards, the simplicity of it, but you never keep your original hand because throughout the game the players are exchanging cards and you're rotating your hand, pretty much like a roulette or something you know. You're just constantly going and so I put the z in front of instead of the N, because my name is Zarina and you know it's the last alphabet, and so because the game shift, I said OK, it moves around, we're going to go with the zomatic part and then the shifting part, and that's the part the children get so excited about, wondering the objective I forgot to say the objective of the game is you have to be the last player holding a card to win. So as you're eliminating throughout the game, the kids get so excited, even when they're out the game, wondering who is going to be left standing, and it is just so amazing to see them get excited about that and it excites me as well.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. I love that. Where can people find it?
Speaker 1:Well, walmart picked me up online and so I'm very happy about that. Most people, you know, they tell me why don't I try to do it like my own online. But, as I mentioned earlier, I'm a disabled veteran and so my mentor said I shouldn't do that because it may be too much and exacerbate my disability. So I applied for Walmart and they picked me up online. So it is online at Walmart. Some people have asked me why don't I go with Amazon? But I don't have the resources to do Amazon right now, so I'm just going to go with Walmart. I do local events like vending events. I'm doing career day with the kids, you know, because I want to talk about uh, game creations and things like that to encourage them to follow their dreams and try something different. But yeah, I saw on walmart also too. I made it easier where someone can go on my website, zochicom, and then you can buy from there To get access to the game.
Speaker 2:I love that. Yes, that's so wonderful. I'm pulling, I'm getting your website pulled up here right now so I can put it in the the little thing here. I just love that you can do this, make it easy for everyone. It's so. It's so nice to of you to do this for families and to put this together, um, in such a thoughtful way and really, like you said, isn't, isn't it fun when you could test it on your own family and you're going to see that, the excitement that comes out of it, stuff, and I just love that. Talk to us a little bit about your children's book.
Speaker 1:Oh, dancing Teardrops was a stretch assignment when I retired. I just wanted to stretch myself and do something different because, even though I've always been a storyteller and I should write scripts for our agency and training but this was something very personal because I think for some people, when you retire, you're like, ok, what am I going to do? And so I decide you know what? I want to write a children's book. And I asked my granddaughter. I wrote sort of like a sample of the story and I said what should we name it? She came up with Dancing Teardrops, and so I like that title and so I just developed the story. I like that title, and so I just developed the story and basically what it is.
Speaker 1:It's about a granddaughter spending time with her Nana and so she was supposed to have her first tea party out by the big oak tree, so she was so excited about having raspberry tea and homemade teacups and all this other stuff, and so it rained and as it progressed, you know, it looks like the rain wasn't going to stop.
Speaker 1:So she becomes really sad. But a grandmother cheers her up when she spotted a bluebird, which was her favorite bird. So she goes outside and the next thing you know they're dancing in the rain. And then she realizes that her tea party is just not going to happen, and so her grandmother made one last effort to cheer her up and she said oh, you have dancing teardrops. And she thought that was the cutest thing that she had, dancing teardrops. So then they just started dancing and having fun in the rain and she tells her grandmother, you have have dancing teardrops too. And so they just dance in the rain for a while and then they go back in the house and then she gets her doll, her baby doll, her teddy bear, henry, and her dog Kylie, and she just tells them next time you'll have dancing teardrops too.
Speaker 1:So it's just about family bonding, resilience and enjoying the special things in life, and in this case, it was the rain.
Speaker 2:It's so important to teach your kids a backup plan. Our son has a really hard time with transitions, when plans change. It can be so tricky sometimes and he gets really upset about those types of things and his one of his very favorite obsessions is computers, and so we kind of came up with an idea Well, if we need to make a change, let's tell him we're making a backup file and we're creating a backup file. Everything, everything's going to be in the backup file. It's going to be fine, you know we're, we're doing this and okay, okay, he'll. He'll say, okay, that's okay, I can have a backup file, and so I think it's just like create whatever's best for your family. Make sure that you help your kiddos in those moments of transitions or things that don't go their way, that they think they're going to go. You know, and, yeah, I love that. Learn how to embrace right now.
Speaker 1:Yes, that is important. That is very important, sarah. I think it's even more important to help our kids to know how to transition. I know with my granddaughters I'm trying to work with them in thinking critically. We want our children to make good grades and we want them to be model students in school, but we need to teach them how to critically think. And a lot of times they don't. They do what their friends say.
Speaker 1:And so I told my son going back to study.
Speaker 1:I say, son, you need to learn your daughters, you need to know what moves them, what makes them happy, and then rally behind that.
Speaker 1:Once you feel like you really know them, ask them some questions and see how they think and help them to navigate and making good decisions, whether you think you have a leader.
Speaker 1:If you have a leader, then you want to culture that, you want to water it and help it grow. But if you find out you have a child that's a follower, then you want to help your child to choose the best leader that they're going to follow, because you don't want them to fall off the cliff because they're just a follower. And so I think that all of that is about transitioning, because each I believe that each stage they're learning something not only about themselves, but they're learning something about you as a parent, and they're also learning something about their friends, their world, the teachers. Everything is moving so fast for our kids and we can't say enough on this platform how important you play a role in their life and the success that they can have by being a solid-minded kid that know how to think on their own and troubleshoot and, most importantly, know that they have a safe space with you to talk about things that they need help with.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely. I bet it's been just an amazing journey for you to be able to watch all of this come to fruition and and build itself and, and you know, be able to measure, you know, kind of the success of it and all. I mean, my grand baby's only one month old, so I don't have it. There's no measurement yet, but we'll see someday, you know, how that turns out. Yeah, it's just such amazing, amazing stages that we get to go through in our lives and it's so important that we try to be present as much as possible. And my husband always says you know, you can either be happy here in the present or you can be afraid of the future or sad for the past. He said just be happy in the present, because the past is sad and the future is scary.
Speaker 1:so just stay right here right now and we'll be fine, you know they have a term for that, right, you know they have a term for that. It's about being mindfulness. Yeah, mindfulness, because when you're mindful, you're in the present. You stay in the present, like right now, we're mindful that we're doing this amazing podcast and your listeners are going to be mindful that they're listening to us. No, we have other competing thoughts, but we are able to channel those thoughts and put them to the side and stay intentionally focused on what we're experiencing now. And that's what it is. It's being mindful and that's something also I'm teaching my granddaughters, because if we think about the past, we have regrets. If we think about our future, we may have anxiety. But what are you feeling right now? And, based on your face, right now you're feeling joy, you're happy, and so you don't have to worry about the past or future, because it's right now what I feel. What am I doing productive right now? You're doing something amazing right now.
Speaker 2:Yay, I love that. We're both all good in our field right now and all our listeners are too. Exactly, it's so nice to get to know you and have this wonderful conversation with you. I really enjoyed it and I look forward to having more in the future. What's coming up for you? What do you have going on next and working on?
Speaker 1:Well, I do have. Right now my book is. We're working on my cover, so hopefully sometime this year I finish up with that. But I do have a third game Zomatic Ship Face Off. I'm just waiting on copyright to approve my images and everything. And, just most importantly, I'm really starting to love what I do. I love it.
Speaker 1:It's at a good time in my life where I needed it right now to give back to the community Because, you know, as a soldier, former soldier you fight for your country.
Speaker 1:It gave you purpose.
Speaker 1:And now I feel like as a retiree, I have purpose and that's fighting for our children and having digital balance, meaning, you know, have some time where they can play with their videos, their cell phones, but then put that away and let's try to connect as a family or let's try to get them to develop in other areas.
Speaker 1:And then also I'm finding really joy in helping our veterans who get hurt in the military and they don't know how to navigate and getting the services that they need at the VA. So that also gives me purpose and seeing my brother become more and more independent on his own and he doesn't have to take up so much of my time, and so I guess I can say pretty much those are the things right now that are so important to me. That's enriching my life is being able to have the compassion and the commitment and the concern for others, as well as trying to balance taking care of me first and I always tell people take care of yourself first, so you'll be at your best to give to others, and that's what I want to do right now.
Speaker 2:I love that so much and you are doing that. So congratulations and thank you for all that you do. And thank you for all that you do. Zocchi, is that how you pronounce it? Zocchicom For those of you listening that can't see the screen, you can go to Zocchi, z-o-c-h-e-ycom and go find the games. Check out the game, the Zomatic Shift. It looks, the cards are beautiful, they're colorful, it looks very exciting and I'm excited to look at it and order some. And you know, play with our family and give you guys. Please do, please do. I have to tell everybody right?
Speaker 1:Please do, because it's amazing. You know most people are going to talk about their product and I like to be honest and forthright. It is truly a unique game and I tell people. You know they'll say, oh, it's a little bit of Una. I say, don't think of Una. Don't think of Una. It is a new game experience and so you have to follow the directions and enjoy it. My granddaughter's eye. One time we were waiting on our food at a restaurant so we pulled out the game and started playing.
Speaker 1:It's just that fast but, it is an amazing game that I have to say that I truly believe God has inspired and I'm very happy to try to promote it and encourage people to spend time with family and friends. We got to do something, whether it's my game or something else. Sarah, find something to connect with your children and let them know that they are your number one priority as you're earning a living, because you only have a short window for them to be in your life. Ask me, I know they're only there for a short window and, before you know it, you're like where are they? They're living their life.
Speaker 2:Raising their own family. It's crazy, oh, wow. Thank you so much for your time and your generosity and your beautiful spirit and sharing with us today. Thank you for having me Amazing things that you do. I really look forward to staying in touch. I'm sure that we will be. So mark your calendar for coffee dates with Sarah. A little yeah, we'll make it more regular than not, if that's that sounds great. Oh, it's been just such a wonderful hour. I know you guys have only been listening for 30 minutes. I'm sorry you missed the first half, but it's been really great getting to know you and thank you so much for sharing and I really just I wish you the best of luck with everything.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much, thank you so much.
