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THE SJ CHILDS SHOW
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THE SJ CHILDS SHOW
International Autism Summit-Breaking Barriers: Christian's Journey of Overcoming Autism Stigma and Embracing Inclusion
What happens when you challenge societal norms and prove the naysayers wrong? Join us as Christian takes us through his inspiring journey from overcoming the stigma of autism to becoming a beacon of hope and inclusion. Diagnosed in 2001, when understanding was limited, Christian defied discouraging predictions of his future by breaking stereotypes. From obtaining his driver’s license to becoming a passionate public speaker, he embodies resilience and determination. Discover how celebrating small wins, embracing unique learning styles, and leveraging social media can promote understanding and inclusion, as shared by Christian, who encourages everyone to harness their strengths and challenge assumptions.
Christian's story doesn't stop at defying odds; it transforms into a powerful narrative of self-discovery and empowerment amidst life’s challenges. Navigate through his battles with depression, the need for mental health breaks, and the demanding pressure to conform to societal norms. Listen as he emphasizes the importance of friendships, generational differences, and the synergy between neurodivergent and neurotypical communities for mutual growth. Through vulnerability and collaboration, Christian invites us all to step beyond our comfort zones, try new things, and embrace inclusivity. Tune in to learn how Christian’s message of unity and hope can inspire you to build a supportive community and foster a more inclusive world.
cute girl. So I am actually going to stay till one.
Speaker 2:I love it, oh my goodness. Okay, well, that's exciting, and I know that our next guest is actually already in the backstage and ready to come up. Um, and let me tell you, when my husband and I first heard um him speak I think it might've been in one of our, one of my, my last event, the one in 36 mix I think that it was kind of. It was so moving. I couldn't believe all the feedback I was getting from my husband, like, oh my gosh, I feel this way. Yes, he's saying exactly what all of these things it was. It was amazing. So I reached out to him. We had him on the podcast and so I'm so glad that he's also here today. He's from Canada, so another one of our wonderful international partners, christian, come on up to the and co-hosts Tom and Mia.
Speaker 2:Tom is in the UK and he's waiting until 1 in the morning to hear us all out today and to get support all the way from across the seas. Mia is here with me in the US and, yeah, we're so happy to have you here this evening.
Speaker 3:Well, thanks so much for having me. It means the world to be here and have this opportunity to share, so thank you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you just have great insight and value to share, so I'm super glad let's let you go on with your presentation and we will exit stage sounds good.
Speaker 3:So what I want to tell you and ask you this question starting out, is how many of you listening to this right now love to prove people wrong, like has anyone ever told you? I'm sure they have, but has anyone ever told you that? I'm sure they have, but has anyone ever told you that you can't do something in life? Well, that was a lot about my journey. See whether you know this or not, or maybe you've seen me last year on one of these shows is I have autism and I was diagnosed back in 2001. And if, going back to 2001, if you remember autism back then it was very cookie cutter. Even back in the 90s I was showing signs of autism in the 90s, very fetal position, they actually thought I was my parents, thought I was nonverbal at first and would not even look them in the eye, and it was extremely difficult. I remember hearing the stories from my parents, my family, my friends, bringing them me into the doctor's office where it was, hearing words like your son cannot graduate, your son cannot ever drive a car, your son cannot ever get married, your son cannot go to university, he cannot get involved with team sports, acting, speaking, etc. And that didn't sit well with me Because if you remember back then, autism was very stereotyped. Autism was very stereotyped. It was very like. This is the way it is. If you have a different perspective, well, tough, take a backseat next door. You know what I mean and I didn't like that. So I don't know how many there were me, but I was one of the advocates where I said you know what? No, I'm going to go prove that doctor wrong in fact, multiple doctors wrong and I went and played team sports. I graduated from high school, I went to university, I got I got my driver's license and bought my first car. I got involved with acting. I am now obviously a speaker speaking on this show, this opportunity and and of course, it was never easy Like when I said I'm going to prove you wrong, I can do this.
Speaker 3:Like I still couldn't speak things into sentences like I'm doing right now. Like I I even just saying hello in a friendly conversation in high school was scary. Like what really helped is teachers saying let's take this one step at a time. For example, in recess or lunch they'd say I want you to talk to just one friend today. All it has to be is can I play play tag or dodgeball or soccer with you. It didn't have to be that home run or touchdown or game-winning goal in overtime, like right away.
Speaker 3:I know I use sports metaphors because I'm a sports fan, obviously, but what works for you, and that's what you need to remember, is remember the small wins. The small wins is what's going to get you the big wins. And so you know, going through school it was scary and, yes, I will admit I dealt with a lot of depression, because the thing with autism is you're trying to fit somewhere in this bubble, is you're trying to fit somewhere in this bubble, this big, massive sea of circle where everybody learns different than you, and you're trying to navigate life. And it's just, it's sometimes never going to come easy. But the thing about me is I wanted to work at it, I wanted to get better, and it was moments like those where I could have those close friends, those close family members where they could say Christian, you can do this.
Speaker 3:And it doesn't have to be like the way other people learn. Like I'm a hands-on learner, I'm a visual learner. Like I'm a hands-on learner, I'm a visual learner. Like the way most people learn at work, in a workplace or in school. I don't learn or work that way, like if you were to tell me something in instructions of I want you to go here, christian, and go find this. It's located in here. Like I wouldn't process or clue into what you're talking about, you might have to draw it out for me or explain something like remember where the last time you saw that was that similar to this? Or you know it's? It's very just, different strategies, different styles, like back in the early 2000s when I was diagnosed like no, no one seemed to talk about a lot of this with autism. And that's what's great about something like this is we have these tools on social media where we get to talk about how do we navigate this and how do we get better, and that's where inclusion sets in.
Speaker 3:You know, if you think about inclusion, nowadays it's everyone's advocating, advocating for inclusion, and I agree we need inclusion. But the thing that a lot of people don't seem to talk about inclusion is everyone loves to shove their opinions, you know, down people's throats, and I'm sure it's not their intention, of course, but it's it's. You know, I'm to tell you how it is and this is how we have to live. And if we're not living like that, then there's no inclusion, no inclusion. And inclusion is hear me out inclusion is letting everyone have a voice and of course, I believe we're all guilty of that. I'm guilty of that. But the one thing I remember, the one thing my boss told me not too long ago, is he said, christian, I look in the mirror every single morning and realize that I'm not perfect. And that really stuck with me. Because that boss who told me that he's from the old school generation, he's from the old school generation where he would never hire individuals who have autism like myself, back when he was doing things in the 90s, the early 2000s, he would get mad outright, yell or scream at people. But you know he was willing to change. And I think we look at ourselves with wanting to have inclusion is we say we advocate for, we need this, we need that. But and don't get me wrong, new school is good. There's a lot of good things about it, how we are advocating. But what we need to realize is what can we learn from the old school generation too? You know they've learned stuff. We've learned stuff. I believe that we need to collaborate our ideas together. You know it's there is certain things that the old school generation does have to offer, and it's up to us who want this inclusion, as bad as I do, to say inclusion is not me taking my opinion and and talking at you. It's talking with you, having an open conversation, because we see it in politics too.
Speaker 3:I can remember my time as a autistic individual, having going through this period of my life of depression, and I think a lot of it had to do with, you know, trying to fit in, trying to fit in school, in the workplace, and I thought I didn't even know how I was going to make it out. Some days I was very in my head, very I might not make it to live to see next week, because I was dealing with suicidal thoughts, moment and what really hit me, because acting was my dream and in fact it still is my dream. But when I was going through that period depression it was I need to drop my agency and I need to walk away for a bit. Just, you know that you call it like it's sports, it's like we call a time out. We call a time out and we just say let's regroup, we let we regroup because I found this passion of speaking and it's like I believe that speaking can also lead to acting opportunities down the road.
Speaker 3:Where and that's where I'm getting it with is there's not one way of learning. There's 5, 10, 15, 20 different ways of learning, but we're so focused on that one idea, that one goal, that one I was so focused in. I want to be this top actor, but I'm not seeing all these individuals, these families struggling with autism, make it through school. And I had to look at myself in the mirror and said I can make a difference for these families. And that's where I found my purpose, because I was so focused, so cookie cutter in on myself. What we need to do as families, as individuals with autism, even neurotypicals, people who don't have autism is we need to come together and realize that we all have a part of the story. We all have a part of the story and a piece to share. We all have our struggles, we all have our flaws and we all have something that we can learn from and achieve and be different.
Speaker 3:You know, maybe, if it's something from the old school generation, maybe you're old school and you're like, ah, this new generation is weak, but you know, this new generation, a lot of people don't want to work hard nowadays because of after covid. Of course I don't blame them, you know, we all I I can remember days where I don't want to work hard, but that old school generation went back. We look back at the war days. It's like I don't feel like it, but I'm gonna do it anyways. And that's where I say you know what it's be comfort? Be comfortable with being uncomfortable is I don't feel like doing it, but I'm gonna do it anyways because I have goals and dreams of what I want to go achieve. Maybe it's something from the new school where maybe we were yelling at each other too much or abusing each other with our words back in the day and just say, hey, I need to hear what that individual wants. It's good for me to listen to what that individual needs to say, because they have something that maybe I've never even learned before. It's time for us to not be followers but be leaders. And I'm talking to myself on this one too, because, you know, be comfortable with being uncomfortable.
Speaker 3:Of course it was being an autistic individual. Yeah, I still have my struggles, like I'll be honest with you, like I work a nine to five job right now as I speak on the side doing this and like I've been doing that since I was almost 30. Now I've been doing it since I was 16, 17 years old and every single day of working those nine to five is I want to quit, almost every single day Like I don't want to do it anymore. I really, really don't. Everyone where I just I can't find it the motivation and the passion myself to get through it. But what helped, what helps me get through it every single day, every single day of getting through it, is knowing that some family going through the struggles of having autism in the family, some autistic individual who doesn't know how they're going to do it in the workplace or the school environment, knowing that if I can make it through a week of work, a month, years, 10 years of work at that same nine to five job, is that's going to give that kid inspiration that they can do it too.
Speaker 3:I was always told, no, you can't, christian. Well, now it's my turn to tell you. Listening to this right now is yes, you can, yes, you can. I know days you're going to maybe feel like I want to take my life like I did. Maybe there's going to be times in your life where you're going to say I'm going to quit, but take for me, that's just in the moment, a lot of the times take a step back. Take a step back even if it's even if you need to take a month break, even a year. That's why we call it timeout. Take a timeout and regroup. Take a deep breath and say I need a mental health break, because I'm big on mental health and how can I reset my mind? And maybe how can I build a bigger community, a bigger and better community, because community is huge.
Speaker 3:Like, who are the friends that you're hanging out right with right now? That's giving you these dreams and aspirations for your life. Because I've had friends before where don't get me wrong, they're a lot of fun to hang out with, but I realized that they were tearing me down. So it's not to say that they're not good people. They were good people, but they weren't good for my life. So my big thing is kindness. You always want to show love to everyone but at the same time, be wise and particular with who you have in your support community. I only have a couple close friends in my life because I know that those close friends are going to bend over backwards for me, just like I do for them, those friends I want to take along for the ride in my journey because they believe in me. If I don't have anyone, if I don't have friends who believe in me, I'm sorry, you're an acquaintance. I still love you, but what I want to encourage you is build that strong community of friends, of family. Family is not just blood, family is friends and people who support you along the way.
Speaker 3:I can, you know, want to offer some tips, a few tips to take with you. As you know, as you're taking my story of what I went through and I probably missed, probably missed a few things, which I do every speech. I miss stuff and like, oh yeah, I forgot to mention that, but we're human is leaving some tips with you here today on how I succeeded with autism and how I want you to succeed with autism, or even some tips If you're not autistic watching this, maybe you're just a parent who wants to pass this on to your kid. Let me leave you with. This is number one, and I know we're all guilty of this, myself included Refrain from saying I can't.
Speaker 3:Just refrain from saying it at all costs. Just catch yourself, if you can, because what that's doing is it's messing with your mind. It's messing with your mind in a way where you're subconsciously saying, ah, I'm right, I couldn't do it, or ah, I'll never get to that. Say, yes, I can. And what I mean by that is you might not be able to do it right now, but even if that goal, that thing that you're working towards, if that takes you 10, 20, 30, even 50 or 60 years, or, let's say, it takes you your whole lifetime, that's still success. That's still success. It's still success. We always have this term of what success is oh, if it doesn't happen in a year, well, I'd fail. Who says? Who says You're still working toward it, you achieved it. Sure, it took you 50 years, but you still achieved it. Years, but you still achieved it. People said, no, you couldn't. Well, you did, you did do it.
Speaker 3:Number two never, ever, ever, ever be afraid to ask for help. You know, the big reason of where I am today is I always ask for help, always, sometimes no, but most of the time yes, help. Always, sometimes no, but most of the time yes is uh, I, what I do, is I actually message, and almost everyone I can on instagram, facebook, linkedin uh, that's how I, that's how I met, uh, sarah, I think is through linkedin maybe. Uh, I know I've met a lot of these people through linkedin. Here it's just sending messages and emails and saying you know my name's Christian.
Speaker 3:I need some help with finding some speaking gigs because I'm a bit lost in not knowing what to do and the worst they can say is no. The worst they could say is no, because the bold thing is you're putting yourself up there. Worst they could say is no, because the bold thing is you're putting yourself up there. You're saying I want to succeed. And even if they say no, well, I did my part, you did your part. You don't need to be Superman, you don't need to be Wonder Woman, you don't need to be this. I can do it all by myself because I am the all no, that's pride talking. All no, that's pride talking. That's your pride talking. What you want to be is humble and you want to build this strong community of people saying how can we succeed together? And that's the one thing I always take with me is how can we succeed together, how can I help you and how can you help me?
Speaker 3:Number three and this is what I've said before in my speech earlier on. Talking right now is be comfortable with being uncomfortable and I know, being an autistic parent or an autistic individual listening to this right now, you might disagree with me, with what I'm about to say, and you know that's okay. I'm not here to say I'm right, because I'm wrong too, I'm human. But I'm just offering my perspective and tips to you is be comfortable with being uncomfortable Because we have our routines as autistic individuals and that's great. I still have my routine of what I need to do. That brings me joy.
Speaker 3:But if I want to get better in my life and help myself, grow in my character and learn new things in my life, I have to step outside my comfort zone. And I know that's hard for some of you to hear because I know being autistic is you don't want to step outside that comfort zone because if you don't, there's panic. I've been through panic. I've been through anxiety attacks. But I'll tell you, the more you do it, the easier it gets. If you need to get a therapist on speed dollars or see a book therapy sessions once a week, that's fine. I still see a counselor Because it goes back to asking for help Because we can't do it all on our own.
Speaker 3:And the last one is I know as autistic individuals who are extremely sensitive, myself included you know it's okay to be sensitive. In fact, I want you to take this with you that sensitivity is actually a strength in its own way. Sensitivity is actually a strength in its own way. Sure, there's there's instances and cases where sometimes you're feeling sensitive or hurt and sometimes you just need to push through that extra hour. I get that. That's an old school mentality. Sure, that's good too.
Speaker 3:But here's the one thing about sensitivity that a lot of people forget is it means you care and you sympathize for others around you. You know, why do we, why do you think that we've had all these um, actors, actresses, athletes and, um, you know, musicians who take their own lives, who who say they can't do it, and even myself, who was struggling through depression for a while. My story is we're too set up on pride, we're too in our ways, saying I, what we need to do is take that sensitivity and say it means I care, it means I sympathize and care for others around me, and saying and goes back into I need help, they need help. Sensitivity is a good thing because if we. Because if we could just ask each other about their day, like sorry, when someone says how are you doing? Sure, it's a way of saying hello, oh good, fine, it's a way of saying hello. But if we were to just say something like even I've had better days, and that could strike and grow up into a conversation oh how? So it's this new way of thinking that autism is better than what people make it out to be.
Speaker 3:And those are four of my tips that I believe that every single one of you can do it, Because I believe every single one of us has a story to share, like this is just my story. This is just my story, and how all these obstacles, hurdles, have changed me, who I am, like go out and try new things, go out and experience new life skills. Can I tell you that when I was a couple years old I think I was just diagnosed or before I was diagnosed I remember I was watching Shrek one night, watching Shrek at my parents' house as a kid, and my dad asked me if I wanted to go to see a football game with him.
Speaker 4:And I said no, well, why?
Speaker 3:Because, well, I'm sensitive. I want to be my own bubble and this movie makes me happy. And I didn't like noise of the crowd. I hated the horns, I didn't like the loud winds and fair. You know some kids with autism they go through that but now I'm the biggest diehard fan there is. I love football, I love hockey, I love sports crowds, I love making noise. I'm one of the loudest fans at the game Because one time I decided to give it a try. You never know what your passion is. You never know Like there is so many passions and gifts about autism, because autism doesn't have a look.
Speaker 3:I fully believe that we have yet to solve autism. We still have yet to solve autism. We are still learning and growing as a society today, thinking that we have discovered all these different ideas, all these different labels and stereotypes. They're all just numbers and stereotypes. We have to ask the individual themselves. That's why it's so important Like what I'm doing right now is you're getting to know me. You would just assume that you know I'm just this kid living in my parents' basement at 40 years old, playing video games. No, I'm going to watch the game one of the playoff games at Rogers Arena in Vancouver tomorrow night. Sure, on the Canucks. That's what I'm doing tomorrow, not sitting at home playing video games. It's all about you know, getting to know the individual, and that, my friends, is how we succeed together with autism. It's okay to share your feelings, it's okay to have routine, it's okay to be in your own bubble, it's okay to explore different things, but know that old school, new school, we have to understand, with a point of love and open conversation, that maybe that was all they were ever taught, maybe that was all they were ever taught and maybe that's all they know. That's what I've learned is know that that we have to come with an open heart and our best weapon that we have as as neurodivergent, neuro neurodivergent individuals is what's in here my love, my kindness, my story to have an open conversation. If you come in, like I said before, like my opinion, this is how it is, this is how it's going to go, how we push for inclusion. Like I said earlier, that's not inclusive, that's saying my way or the highway we have to. We have to collaborate together, because that's how we succeed as autistic individuals and that's how we succeed together with neurotypicals. That's how people with autism and people without autism can work together and help each other's success journeys.
Speaker 3:I hope this story spoke to you and I hope to see you soon. I'd like to say wrapping this up if you want to follow me on Instagram, you can go to. On Instagram, you can go to Christian Armstrong, underscore, motivates, underscore, and you know that's my main source of social media. You can also find me on, you know, tiktok, facebook, linkedin too, but you want to go to my website as well. It's Christianatescom and there it'll show a bit more about what I do, and I'm still in the midst of trying to book more speaking gigs.
Speaker 3:So if this spoke to you and you want to share this with someone else and saying, hey, we want to book this guy to speak on, you know, succeeding together in collaboration with autism, saying, hey, we want to book this guy to speak on, you know, succeeding together in collaboration with autism, that's what you can do and I'll get that and, yeah, I can book more speaking gigs. There's actually one more underscore at the end of that. I'm just seeing that right now. That's my old Instagram handle, so it's Christian Armstrong, underscore, motivates, underscore. And yeah, everybody, have a great day. Love you guys. Talk soon.
Speaker 2:Christian. Thank you so much. Yes yes, yes, yes, no worries.
Speaker 4:Absolutely.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean I know that Tom really wanted to finish out the night and listen to your chat and everything. So Tom like tell us what you thought about all the great stuff he shared again.
Speaker 1:I think it's vulnerable. Being vulnerable is powerful and and again, to hear your stories and how you are turning into speaking gigs and and showing the world about who you are is again is it's priceless at the end and, with what you're saying, will, will help one person. If it helps one person, then that's something, isn't it? But it will help thousands and thousands and thousands of people, and that's a special thing to do for your journey and your voice to help other people, and that's why we do this. It was a pleasure to listen to you and good luck in the playoffs. I don't know what sport it is, but good luck.
Speaker 2:I appreciate it, love that. What do you think, mia?
Speaker 4:Oh, it was really, really great. I loved I think I put it in there twice maybe being uncomfortable with what you say, being comfortable, being uncomfortable that's something I say all the time. I love that, yes, this journey with my son and that's exactly what it feels like. But I'm getting very comfortable with being uncomfortable and I love that. You said you know putting the old school and new school together, not us fighting with each other. We both can offer from both sides, the older school and then I say old school, new school, we can both offer and I love that you said that. So we can sit down and talk and we can. We both of us can get something from each other.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, before we go, there was a lot of comments, so I'm going to put the comments up really fast. You know, mia said yeah, remember the small wins. She loves that. Harry O'Kelly. We were talking about future tellers and she said sometimes we need to be grateful for them because they give us a target to shoot for in order to prove them wrong.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, and that is so true. We don't get to tell someone how their voice should sound, says Brenda. And yeah, really, you know each person, no matter whether it's through an AAC device, whether it's through a song, through you know. However, they want to provide their voice and their thing, and you may have been speaking about it in another term, but still, like that's so important that we just really dignify humans and let them, you know, have that space. Yeah, I was saying, yeah, your family is your tribe. That get you best. It doesn't always have to be your blood related family members, but your tribe. I mean, I love that. Be comfortable with being uncomfortable, just repeating that again.
Speaker 2:She says in life, I think we need to blame those people that aren't, oh, I'm not sure, those people that aren't, oh, I'm not sure. Such revelation and wisdom you've learned on your journey, christian, thank you for sharing, and I just wanted to say that, absolutely, like, we have each other's backs and now your friend group is growing because I got your back and I'm happy, and I know that you got mine and Tom. You got our back and, and I'm happy, and I know that you got mine and Tom, you got our back in UK and you know you got our back. You know I love this. It's so empowering, um, and you know Dustin said and I think that he edits this under here, but he said just realize that if he takes away the timeline, that he's never failed a single time in his life.
Speaker 2:Wow so really appreciate that sentiment and I'm able to share that. Oh, thank you, victor. Victor shared your website so that we can go and follow you there and go to your website. Harry says I think we need to not just blame people that don't see us for who we are. We should thank them for the gifts that they have given us in proving them wrong. We can and do use these future tellers as motivation in proving them wrong about us over our lifespan, and isn't that the truth? And yes, thank you, victor, for helping us out there in our management, our common management. Yes, christian, so wonderful to once again hear your amazing sentiments and share and and you're just always so authentic and I appreciate you so much.
Speaker 3:Thank you. I appreciate you too. It's been such a blessing, uh, meeting new people along the way and, you know, sometimes it feels, like you know, 2024 has been like a bit of a dry season, to be honest, with, like you know, getting gigs and. But I think sometimes these dry seasons where you know you feel like you're not getting much out there, where you feel like nothing's coming to it, sometimes it's those teaching moments too, where it's like you are where you're supposed to be right now and it's going to make you want that much more when you get that opportunity.
Speaker 2:Yep, love that, love that. Well, thank you so so much for for your time and sharing and, um, wow this. I'm just so filled in so many ways and, just like you, mia, I'm going to have to go back and watch and write down things and you know, and listen again and it's. It's just, there's so much value to be had in everybody's and sharing perspectives, because it's sometimes in those people that we trust, that we give way to being more open to different ideas. And so thank you guys for for being such wonderful friends and and open, authentic people that we can all rely on one another for. So, yay Go, international Autism Summit. Yeah, oh, wonderful. Well, we will say good evening to you, christian, and thank you so much again for your time.
Speaker 3:Thank you so much for having me. You guys have a great night, and.
Speaker 2:Tom, have a good night. Bye, bye, oh, I love that. Oh my gosh, just so full of inspiration. Back to back, to back, to back to back.
Speaker 1:Yeah, let's let Mr Tom get to bed now that it is yes, yes, yes, yes, he's, it's it's tomorrow hello tomorrow hello tomorrow my energy is still 100, but I probably need to go to bed, but thank you. Thank you so much, um sarah, for having me on here with some amazing people. It's been great to obviously meet new people as well and to build.
