.png)
THE SJ CHILDS SHOW-Advocating for Autistics, One Story at a Time
🎙️ Welcome to The SJ Childs Show Podcast! 🎉
Join Sara Bradford—better known as SJ Childs—as she bridges understanding and advocacy for the neurodivergent community. This podcast shines a light on autism awareness, empowering stories, expert insights, and practical resources for parents, educators, and individuals alike.
Brought to you by The SJ Childs Global Network, a nonprofit dedicated to supporting autistic individuals and their families worldwide, this show is your weekly dose of inspiration and actionable ideas. Visit sjchilds.org to learn more about our mission, find resources, and connect with our growing community.
Catch us on platforms like Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Goodpods—or tune in Fridays at 8:30 AM EDT on the Helium Radio Network’s Life Improvement Radio (Channel 1). Together, let’s foster a brighter, more inclusive world! 🌟
Go here to download training materials!
https://sjchilds.myshopify.com/
THE SJ CHILDS SHOW-Advocating for Autistics, One Story at a Time
Episode 297-Transformative Journeys: Autism Advocacy, Home Spa Creation, and the Power of Mindset with Philip Blackett
The SJ Childs Show
What if your life experiences could transform the lives of those you love most? Join us as Philip Blackett shares his compelling journey of personal growth and autism advocacy. Approaching his 40s, Philip reflects on how his grandmother's unwavering love shaped his understanding of autism and how his twin daughters' diagnoses became a turning point. Through heartfelt storytelling, Philip offers valuable insights into the importance of empathy, understanding, and shared experiences in supporting individuals on the autism spectrum.
Ever thought about bringing the tranquility of a spa into your own home? Discover how you can create a sanctuary of relaxation without breaking the bank. We explore the art of crafting a home spa experience that nurtures both your body and mind. From daily rituals that strengthen relationships to embracing activities that rejuvenate your spirit, learn how personal routines can enrich your life and well-being. Philip's expertise guides us through these transformative practices, offering a compelling case for investing in self-care.
Our conversation takes a motivating turn as we discuss the power of mindset and the commitment required for fitness success. It's not about quick fixes but rather the dedication to becoming the best version of yourself through consistent effort. Philip highlights the ripple effect of healthy lifestyle choices, inspiring those around you to aim higher. For those eager to dive deeper into the world of home relaxation, Philip invites listeners to visit his website and explore his book "Relax, Recover, Rejuvenate: How to Create Your Ultimate Home Spa," offering a wealth of knowledge and resources to enhance your journey to wellness.
Support the show
Hi and thanks for joining the SG Child Show today. I'm really excited to have this conversation with Phillip. Is it blackened, did I? Is that just?
Speaker 2:Yep, you got it right. Just black it.
Speaker 1:It's so nice to meet you. Before we get started with our conversation, tell us a little bit about yourself and the introduction and what brought you here today.
Speaker 2:Well, it's always interesting, sj. First of all, I appreciate being on the show. That question now, as I've gotten older, with the gray hairs to show it, it's always interesting. It's like, okay, as I'm approaching 40, literally next Thursday, on Thanksgiving, I'm literally asking myself how do you encapsulate who you are at 40 years of age in like a short one to two minute answer to your question, right? But I think the big this thing for me is that, you know, some people say you know, I'm an author, I'm an entrepreneur, I'm a husband, I'm a father, I'm just somebody that's really just trying to make the most out of the talents and gifts I've been blessed with. Um, just really make the second half of my life, um, just as exciting and as fruitful and productive and as enjoyable, um, if not more so, uh, than the first half of my life. I would say.
Speaker 2:And the first half was good, then I, I would say, and the first half was good, then I would say so, but I always would love to see if the second half is actually better.
Speaker 1:I love that I'm on the same page there. I'm always hoping everything should be better. It should just always be growing and getting better. I hope so. Yeah, so it's been going. Oh, it's so nice to meet you and you know, I um, we, I think we met on pod match, which is fantastic. I love that place.
Speaker 1:Had a lot of great interviews, and I think one thing that stood out for me on your profile was autism, and I, uh, here at the SJ jail show, talk a lot about autism and education, and so tell me how that fits into your life and let's, if you don't mind, talking about that.
Speaker 2:No, not at all. It's a part of me. Why would I not feel comfortable talking about it? You know, I think that when I was growing up like 1990s or so, you know, autism wasn't seen in the same light as it is today. You know, autism, spectrum, asperger's, you know, whatever the case may be for that particular person and oftentimes back then got grouped up and he just doesn't get it as well as the rest of the kids or he's not as quick with it, um, maybe he needs special education. You know, like back then that's kind of where things were grouped up for me growing up.
Speaker 2:Um, I think things took a different turn with, you know, my grandmother at the time that saw something different from what you know doctors and people on the outside saw and she just put in some good old, tender, loving care, just really just got to know me better, showed unconditional love, was really working with me on stuff as like handwriting tablets when I was younger or flashcards for math and that sort of thing.
Speaker 2:But really I think, if nothing else, you know, she really instilled in me a love for learning and just being okay with seeing things differently than others, and so I think that was helpful for me where, when you have this love for learning and wanting to do the best you can, that played out well for me academically high school, college and beyond, but I think even more so now, knowing that you know.
Speaker 2:You know, though she's no longer with us there is a legacy factor that plays a role there, because I have two, you know, daughters, twin daughters that were actually diagnosed with being on the autism spectrum, and so I think things became full circle for me where initially, the first reaction was I felt guilty that I gave this to them genetically and I felt like that they would likely struggle with it and I don't know what their life would be like because of it. But then, after I got past that stage, it was more so understanding that, with my wife and their mother, who's very caring, very understanding, very much like my grandmother, but from Puerto Rico in this case I felt like that my kids would be in a good place. But then I think the full circle moment came. For me was just like well, who else has very much a wealth of in-house experience of what this could be like growing with autism or being on the spectrum than their own dad?
Speaker 2:Yep, and so I think that that was one that once I better understood that it made a lot of sense and I think even now it's just like you know.
Speaker 2:Now they're, you know, seven years old, about to turn eight, and it's kind of similar as when I was growing up, which, like if you met him for the first time, you might not think that they're on the spectrum. Now I can see the quirks about them when I'm at home, but I think that's kind of the thing where you know kind of the same way with me, Like unless I told you, I might not come off that way to you, but that doesn't mean it's not there, and so I can at least appreciate that. And when I come across meeting people that are on the spectrum or have friends and family and loved ones that are on the spectrum and talk about that sort of thing, I think that that's part of the one of the motives for me in the second half of life of being able to be a resource, to be a helping hand, to be someone that understands and that can help people through. You know what can be a challenge for some people.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. I love that. Thank you so much for sharing that. Because, number one, I think that there's real relativity and relatability in other people's stories and experiences and perspectives and I love that you shared all of those variables of perspectives as well. Because, number one, society is so deficit centered. It's centered around deficits, and how can we look at this bad and look at this bad and what's bad about this person and what can we fix about this? Instead of strength building centered, which is such a more successful path to take and such a better system, especially for fostering children's, you know, self-confidence and their understanding about themselves and their, you know, basking kind of, as you alluded to, basically, and that some of the time.
Speaker 1:You know, obviously, the lack of education as well out there, but people don't know.
Speaker 1:And the same comes across for me I'm late, diagnosed autistic, and people don't generally see me right off the bat or see me having these big conversations in the grocery store.
Speaker 1:They wouldn't naturally say, oh, that girl's definitely autistic, but it is the case. And so, with that, I love that you said. This too gives me the opportunity to look at my children, who are also autistic, and be able to accommodate them in ways that I was never accommodated and that now I see that maybe the world isn't quite up to speed with and we can help educate and teach and and be the example of what we need the world to become for ourselves, for our kids, for their children. If this genetic follows right in evolution, then we'll see that it will continue to grow and that will need more supports and more understanding. But I think like the media is doing a better job of showing more realistic, I guess, experiences because really, when we come down to it, every human is having their own human experience and that's what we all, you know, kind of need to understand collectively. Don't you agree with that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, of course I think that people's definition of what normal is is becoming a lot more broader, more inclusive and much more individualized.
Speaker 2:I think that you know to your point.
Speaker 2:You know as Shay, I think, how the world around us looks at something like autism is significantly different than it was 20, 30 years ago, and I would imagine it would get any even better or at least more understandable as time progresses.
Speaker 2:Not just because you might come across somebody that's autistic, not just because you may have a family relative or a child that is on the autism spectrum, but I think also as people learn more about it in the media, through research and science and it, it becomes something that's not so much just kind of put off to the dark corner where no one really like touches, as opposed to more so like now you're seeing like in elementary schools, I know, for example, you know you have learning specialists that provide student supports and that's something that's like in the school system and that sort and the people that have these type of accommodations that are provided for these families, and so now you're starting to see it's like okay, this is not so much a foreign thing, it's like there is some expectation that there's a possibility and we have the right support for this.
Speaker 1:Yeah, definitely, and we hope that for all families. And please, if you are listening and you need resource or support, reach out to any of us and we'll be happy to guide you in the right direction to find those kinds of resources in your community. And it's all about building community and bless your grandma's heart. Thank heavens for her, for really just what a wonderful spirit and I can just tell that you really have great love for her and her time that she spent, you know, believing in you and I think that it's really, as far as I see in just everyday experiences with people, the belief that you give them. If you do, they will take that as far as they can be believed and that's a powerful, powerful tool.
Speaker 1:I think that people don't realize or don't know or take for granted, I guess maybe especially parents of maybe non-verbal children, you know, and that aren't speaking yet, and it's hard to see the hope or the you know light at the end of the tunnel, and it's always nice to have people who have those struggles or who can guide you in a direction where you can find a bit of hope and a light at the end of the tunnel. Are there resources that you provide or how do you look for that in your area? Florida's pretty good. It has some good resources.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think for me I just kind of look at it as far as what do the school system provides in particular. I think for me that's really kind of been it. So it's like my wife and I as far as like resources for our kids and you know, what's provided at our kids' school, you know, is pretty much us here. Kids' school, you know, is pretty much us here. We have some extended family here, which I think is definitely helpful too. But I think it really comes down to, like, you know, family and the school for us.
Speaker 1:That's great. Unfortunately for us, the school system was not, did not support us, not, did not support us.
Speaker 1:So, I've not only been a stay at home mom for those purposes, but homeschool as well, and it's been tricky because now I have 14 and 12 year old and the higher education is a lot harder to maintain for your neurodiverse child. So it's been tricky. But you know, like you said, there's just hopefully you are getting good resources from your school and your school districts and things like that. But let's not talk about that. We're not here to talk about school systems, no-transcript.
Speaker 2:Sure, where do you want to go?
Speaker 1:Well, what is? What are you currently working on?
Speaker 2:Sure. So one of the things I'm currently working on now is, you know, I've talked about a couple of times about, you know, the second half of our lives, right, and I think that you know a couple of things really kind of keyed in on it. For me is like one, as I mentioned earlier, you know, I turned 40 on Thanksgiving this year and so oftentimes when you turn 40, for some people, that people oftentimes signified as like the midlife point, right, or for some people it was like a midlife crisis, and, you know, I think it's really a time of reflection for a lot of people as far as like how the first 40, if you want to call it that went as far as the good moments, the not so good moments, the things you would love to repeat again, the times that you would wish you could just erase and expunge off your life altogether, but then also in terms of thinking about what your second half of your life is like, what do you want it to be and, in particular, what are your goals at that point. You know, what are you going to work towards in that sense, and oftentimes, for people that are, you know, spouses and parents, you know you look at your family inwardly. And I think for me, like the big, hairy, audacious goal for me was the second half of my life, sj, if I'm being honest with you is I want my wife and I to make it a 50 years of being married.
Speaker 2:As far as celebrating our 50th wedding anniversary and I think you know, oftentimes when people talk about goals, oftentimes they mention it in the sense of you know, the goal itself is significant, but what's even more significant is what's the journey to get to that goal. You know, who do you have to become to make it to that goal of yours, to achieve it? Because when I think about, like 50 year wedding anniversary, which for me year wedding anniversary, that which for me, that's another 41, 42 years from now, so I would be about 81 years old or so right, I probably won't be doing podcasts at that age, but who knows? But I think what comes off is ask myself those questions as far as what do I have to do to give myself and my wife the best odds of making it the 50th wedding anniversary? Because my grandmother, for example, she didn't make it to 80 years old. You know, it's like you know, there's a number of family members that passed away that didn't make it to 80 years old for one reason or another. So one of the top questions that I had to answer was what is it going to take for me to do that?
Speaker 2:And one of the top answers for me was I need to start investing in my long-term health and wellness now to figure out what things I should start looking more into and, you know, to really give myself and my wife the best chance of making that, so we can attend, can attend, you know more first days of school with our kids and later father-daughter dances when they get older. And you know high school graduations and then college graduations, and then you know, you know walking my daughters down the aisle, one day, hopefully when they get married, like a lot of you know, summer vacations, how like you think about this sort of thing, like like next 40 years, like 40 years of these type of things 40 summers, 40 winters, 40 Christmases, 40 Thanksgivings like you want to be able to enjoy all that. But if you don't have your health to be able to do that, then it compromises the quality of what those things are or the longevity of it. And so what came off of my mind? Sj? All of this to kind of come full circle, is thinking about, in a sense, like how do you start preparing now?
Speaker 2:And I came up with this concept of you know, where do people likely want to go to relax and recover from a hard days of work or just to help themselves become better health-wise, and a lot of people want to splurge by going to a spa on a weekend. Might want to get like a nice massage, or go into a nice, like you know, steam room, and that sort of thing, just like just that's where you feel most like ah, like serene, and that sort of thing. Just like just that's where you feel most like ah, like serene, and that sort. The challenge that comes with that, though, I realize, is that you can't necessarily go to a spa every week because, that'd be really, really expensive.
Speaker 2:It would add up. But then I thought to myself okay, where is the most comfortable place? Bar none more than likely that everyone would love to be at more than any other place. And I think I can answer that by asking that same question what is the most comfortable relaxing place for you personally, sj.
Speaker 1:My own home.
Speaker 2:And so taking that same answer and so taking that same answer. What if we had a concept of taking certain things that we like about a spa that you have to travel to to be able to enjoy and you may do it once every blue moon, maybe on a birthday or that sort of thing but take the concept of taking those same sort of things or elements and include them in the most comfortable place for you. So the whole concept of a home spa to me is a great calling card that I'm working on now in the second half of my life, because the thought is, if you can have elements of what a spa is that you would love to have and enjoy, but you can't do it every week because it costs a lot, but you make the investment to be able to provide that at home, are you more likely to use these elements on a weekly, if not daily, basis? Are you able to do it in the comfort, convenience and privacy of your own home as well? And you look at it more sort of sense that when you think about goals and what you have to do to reach that goal, you think about what type of routine, what type of way to kind of set yourself up, things you do on a daily, weekly basis. You know you're making sure you have the right diet, making sure you exercise, but what I often ask people is along with diet and exercise, you know you have plans for those, but what's your plan for recovery? Right At a certain point, sj, I can't keep going to the bar to recover.
Speaker 2:I've long gone the nightlife as well. At some point for me, I'm more at ease wanting to stay at home with my family. So the thought is to answer your question, I'm working on basically a passion project to help people understand the concept of a home spa and whether or not that might be a good fit for them that can help them enjoy life more, particularly the second half of their life, enjoy it more and maybe extended to live as long as they can. By providing the right elements to have your own home spa, that with the right routine for yourself, on a daily, weekly basis, it helps increase the odds of you making those type of goals, of making it to your 50th wedding anniversary or making it to see your kids get married or making it to see your grandkids and enjoy life with them, and so I think that's what really has been the focus for me, just something I'm really excited about doing um, just something I'm really excited about doing.
Speaker 1:I love that I. I can really appreciate so much of that. I'm 20 years. Well, 15 years married, been together 20 years. So, congratulations, huge goal. I will go for 50 years.
Speaker 1:I wouldn't want to be with anyone else in the world and my wonderful husband and you know kind of a like a different element of what we like to do together is, since the first day we met was have coffee together. That's what we've been doing our whole life, every single day together. Um, so it's something that we kind of now look back and joke about, like, oh, what if we stopped drinking coffee? Like what kind of conversations would we have? You know we're going to have to find some tea or something, but no, it's just like this special, like you said, routine that we set up. You know it's almost like meeting with a friend every single day. There's really it's, and it meeting with a friend every single day, there's really is, and it makes it start the day out so great and it's always yeah, it's just always there. And I love the idea of a home spa too. I am a former massage therapist Number one.
Speaker 2:I did not know that. How coincidental, how coincidental, I did not know that. Yeah, definitely how coincidental, I did not know that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, definitely, come on. No, just kidding, no, but there are some wonderful ways. You know there was this. I lived in Portland, oregon, for a time in my twenties and there was, like this women's gym that I went to and they my favorite place and my favorite thing about this gym is that they had a sun room, because in Oregon it rains a lot and it's a lot of clouds. They had this sun room with sun lamps and they had a eucalyptus steamer and it would just like fill the room with wonderful steam of eucalyptus and the heat on. You know the sun lamp and everything. You're on Florida, you're probably not missing that part, but it is.
Speaker 1:It's so important to find those elements that you know make you happy. I remember somebody telling me once, like what gives you chills? What's the thing that gives you chills when you think about it? Like so exciting, so overwhelming, you just get chills from it. Follow that, like, go after those things, make those things more regular than not. If there's music that you love to listen to, but you like don't do it for X, y and Z, like get yourself some headphones and listen to a more open or something like it, really just indulge. I think that that helps so much with self-care.
Speaker 2:Right, I agree.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love that. What kind of actions do you think? Like I said, you know salt lamps, heat lamps, those kinds of things, but what kind of actions can people put into place? Because it's not really about it is about the physical elements of it, but what we really really have to be aware of is the mindset. So how do you help people put themselves and really like be accountable for that mindset?
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I think that's part of what, what gets me really interested about it, sj, because I think about it. You know, when I used to play basketball in high school, right, you know, I went to a high school that had a gym and had a weight room and had a track and field right, you had the tools to be the best at what you wanted, to be, as far as the best basketball player possible. But unless I actually put in the work and the dedication and the commitment to do the practices the lifting of weights, the running on a consistent basis and to commit myself to improving and learning where, how things are going, how my body's responding and recovering, and getting back at it, I probably was not going to be that good of a basketball player, right? So I think it's something similar here, where it's like, even if I'm having a business that sells home spa equipment whether it's, you know, saunas or massage chairs or steam showers or cold plunger, whatever the case may be, whatever the tools are, at the end of the day those are just tools.
Speaker 2:If they're not used in a consistent way that works for you and what your goals are in, it's just taking up space at your home. You know, it's just like. You know, when I was growing up, the thing that people often talked about as far as to get well and get fit at home was a treadmill, that big old bulky treadmill that took up half your room. Well, unless you plan on using it on a regular basis, preferably every day, at some point, it's going to have another purpose. It's going to have a purpose of hanging your clothes to dry.
Speaker 2:Exactly so you're going to think to yourself that that's a pretty expensive clothes rack if that's the case. So I think, when you think about mindset, I think that's very key because I think, in that sense, the tools itself make no purpose. There's no reason to make that investment in yourself unless you're going to make that commitment to yourself that this is what I'm looking to do and this is what I need this tool to do this with, and I'm going to make the commitment to do that, to do this with, and I'm going to make the commitment to do that where, after I get so excited and it comes into my home and I get it all set up and that sort, is this going to be something that after that first week or two, you're going to still get yourself up or still commit to doing what you need to do after work and still use it on an ongoing basis so you can get the type of results you're looking for to keep yourself up to the type of goals you're trying to achieve.
Speaker 2:And so I think that mindset is honestly more important than anything, especially when you have a growing generation of people, generation of people that think that the way to get fit you either have to take a pill or you inject yourself now like it's just, it's that simple, like all I have to do is push a button, swallow a pill or inject myself with something, and that makes it much tougher for people to compete with when, as opposed to saying, hey, if you really want to work out, you got to go out to the gym, even when it's not convenient for you, and lift the weights, you got to go and walk the miles, you got to plan your meals, you got to step in the sauna for 15, 20 minutes a day, of that sort, you got to step in the sauna for 15, 20 minutes a day.
Speaker 2:That's sort of like you know that's what you're competing with, but ultimately it's the thought of what's right for you. Ultimately, what are you trying to achieve? Because if it's something that's worthwhile to you, you'll be willing to put in the work. But you have to have that commitment and mindset first off.
Speaker 1:That is so true. My husband always tells me goal, timeline, accountability, that's how you'll get it done. So no, I don't always follow his good advice there comes the accountability part that's the truth, oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:And it really comes back to something you said, one of the very first things you said, and that was becoming a better version of yourself every single day, and and I think that's a beautiful, wonderful goal for people to have for themselves, and the opportunities that can come from that are outstanding and you can really make a difference. And not only will you make a difference for your own life by choosing those types of making those choices, you'll also help your family. You'll help those around you friends, coworkers, your own parents, you know. Sometimes they'll see that you're doing healthier things and you can teach them as well. So always be ready to to share the information. I think that's so important that we, that we share. That's what this is all about being on the podcast sharing the information.
Speaker 1:Where can people go to learn more about you, connect with you or ask any questions that they might have?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think it's a great question. So I'm on social media. You can find me, philip Blackett, by looking me up on whether it's Facebook, instagram, youtube, twitter, linkedin, that sort of thing. But in particular, if you're looking more into what this whole concept of a home spa is and whether or not that might be right fit for you, you can head over to my website, homespabookcom.
Speaker 2:What I basically did is I wrote a book called Relax, recover, rejuvenate how to Create your Ultimate Home Spa, and so what you can do there is basically get my free book that I wrote and just better understand what a home spa is and then make an educated decision to say, hey, if it's something that might be a fit to you, if so, great, Love to have a conversation with you. You can head over to my website homespaessentialscom afterwards to see what we have to offer to be able to share with you how you can create your own home spa. But you got to start on the first things first understand what a home spa is and see if it's something that makes sense for you. So I definitely would say those are great ways to connect with me after this and I look forward to follow up conversation from here.
Speaker 1:I love that. Thank you so much, and again, you can reach Philip on his social medias. I'll link, of course, everything in the description below. It was great having you on and I really look forward to staying in touch.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much. Likewise, sj, thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, thank you.
