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THE SJ CHILDS SHOW-Advocating for Autistics, One Story at a Time
🎙️ Welcome to The SJ Childs Show Podcast! 🎉
Join Sara Bradford—better known as SJ Childs—as she bridges understanding and advocacy for the neurodivergent community. This podcast shines a light on autism awareness, empowering stories, expert insights, and practical resources for parents, educators, and individuals alike.
Brought to you by The SJ Childs Global Network, a nonprofit dedicated to supporting autistic individuals and their families worldwide, this show is your weekly dose of inspiration and actionable ideas. Visit sjchilds.org to learn more about our mission, find resources, and connect with our growing community.
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THE SJ CHILDS SHOW-Advocating for Autistics, One Story at a Time
Episode 302-The Future of Learning Embracing Emotion and Transforming Schools with Author Leroy Slanzi
Join us for an enlightening conversation with Leroy Slanzi, an educator whose journey ranges from principal roles worldwide to his fulfilling work at an Indigenous school in British Columbia. This episode sheds light on the nuances of global educational systems, highlighting Canada’s impressive standing in education. Leroy offers insights into how the digital age and environmental factors are reshaping student behavior, and why emotional intelligence and holistic learning are critical in today's classrooms.
We dive deep into the urgent need for emotional education in schools, where traditional subjects often overshadow social-emotional learning. Facing a looming mental health crisis, we discuss equipping educators and students alike with the tools necessary for emotional intelligence. I also introduce my books as resources, offering pathways through these challenges and advocating for the integration of play to combat the decline in children's perseverance and grit. Together, we strive to fill the missing piece in the education system, championing a holistic approach for nurturing well-rounded children.
The episode doesn't just stop at theory—it explores practical implementation through emotional audits in schools, which help boost emotional intelligence and well-being. Imagine schools where a common emotional language and mindfulness practices are part of everyday life, aiding not just students but teachers as well. We also touch on the unique needs of children with autism, advocating for environments that allow their emotional growth. By fostering empathy and compassion, we aim to inspire a transformation in how education meets the emotional needs of all its students.
The SJ Child Show is Backford's 13th season. Join Sarah Bradford and the SJ Child Show team as they explore the world of autism and share stories of hope and inspiration. This season we're excited to bring you more autism summits featuring experts and advocates from around the world. Go to sjchildsorg to donate and to get more information. Congratulations on 2024's 20,000 downloads and 300 episodes. Hi and welcome to the SJ Child Show. It's so nice to be here today and I am joined with Leroy Leroy. How do I pronounce your last name so that I don't do it any injustice?
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's fine, it's Slancy.
Speaker 1:I would have gone right there, so it would have been okay, right, it's so nice to meet you. I'm looking forward to uncovering more about what you do and I read a lot on your profile and website, so I'm really fascinated to get into this conversation. Lot on your profile and website, so I'm really fascinated to get into this conversation.
Speaker 2:Tell us a little bit about yourself and what kind of what brought you here today. Sure, yeah, well, first and foremost, I'm a dad. I have two kids. I have a teenager who's in his first year of college this year and a daughter who's in grade 11. So I'm coming to the end of raising kids at home and learning how to raise kids when they're away from home. They're almost a little more needy, I'm finding, as they ask for more money. So, which is great, it's great my son's doing well and I'm grateful that I get to support him in his future. And other than that, I'm a principal of an elementary school currently. I've been a principal of elementary middle high schools, run the whole gamut, been at it for about 25 years. I've written a few books, I do a lot of workshops for teachers around emotional intelligence and I'm trying to reinvigorate, you know, our education system because it's starting to fail in a lot of places all over the world.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, definitely, and it's interesting and, like you said, all over the world, because I was going to say how is the school system, how does it differ if you know from, you know american, from the usa schools and what does that look like as far as, uh, running the same kind of system? Or are we, you know, the same curriculum style? What does that look like?
Speaker 2:yeah, well, I I can't. I can speak on behalf of british columbia, because that's where I'm at. Here in canada we do have a federal education system, but the provinces have more control over what we do. But in terms of just a general idea, in Canada we have public school systems, we have independent school systems, we have private school systems, just like you do in the States, just like they do in, you know, australia, new Zealand, the United Kingdom. I think that's kind of how it works. And you know the private school systems may be inclined to be more religious or focus on some other stream or characterization that they choose to go down. I, for example, I'm not in the public system anymore. I actually left two years ago. I work for an Indian band, so I work in an Indigenous school. Yeah, and it's been probably the best move I've ever made in my life, working with Indigenous people and I'm learning so much. Yeah.
Speaker 2:And it's wonderful because, you know, the incorporation of land-based learning, the hands-on type learning, into reading, writing and arithmetic is just amazing. So that's an example. Being an independent school and a public school here in Canada, you do get on the land, but you don't get to go and get on the land every day because it costs too much, right? So in that sense it's the same. I think I do know and I don't want to toot our horn up here I do know that Canada usually ranks in the top three in the world in terms of their educational system. I love that. Yeah, who's toot your horn?
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, you know Alberta, our province next door, actually in 2022 ranked number one in the world in reading. So I'm kind of ticked at them because I think we were seven.
Speaker 2:But they actually, in 2022, ranked number one in the world in reading, so I'm kind of ticked at them because I think we were seven, but they are Canadian, so that's okay, but otherwise, yeah, no, I think our systems are the same and I have a lot of conversations with teachers from the United States and I interact a lot with superintendents and principals from all over the world, and we're all running into the same issue globally, and that's you know our, the behavior of our kids, and that has shifted drastically, which has come in turn with the digital, digital age we live in isn't that the truth?
Speaker 1:I think there's so many multiple facets to that environmental, you know, processed foods there's just a gamut of unfortunate things that create unhealthy lifestyles which then breed to unhealthy minds. And in fact I have a children's book series and the tagline is like healthy minds create healthy futures, and I completely agree with that. And they're about special needs and how to, um, you know, express or share that experience with the typical peers and how they can better support one another and really just learn to humanize one another and recognize that in kindness is where we'll have growth and that, yeah, all the other stuff just takes a toll and brings us the other direction.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, well that's a beautiful, beautiful book series. I actually have a master's in special ed, so that's I kind of. I started my career as a special ed teacher before I became an administrator. So kind of near and dear to my heart there, sarah oh wonderful.
Speaker 1:Well, I have a family of all autistics and and so, and a daughter that is, a husband that are dyslexic, and so for me, it was really recognizing the injustice, if you will, that they were kind of receiving, with people not understanding them in their peer circles, and I didn't know how to bridge that gap or how to really fulfill that for them, which is very personal anyways. But you know, as a parent, as a super parent, you want to try to get in there and do whatever you can. You want to try to get in there and do whatever you can. And I just felt like when they were really little, kind of expressing to them that, hey, it's OK, there's, you know, we've we wrote a book about how cool this is and how different differences are beautiful and unique and should be widely accepted, rather than the others. So, yeah, that was, but hey, we can get not my about my books but yeah, I want to hear more about yours, that's so great, it's okay.
Speaker 2:Well, I think we're practicing the same beliefs because, you know, that's one thing that's very important, it has been very important to me over the course of my career is inclusion. And you know, one of the main arguments, you know, around inclusion, around having kids with special needs in classroom, is that they educate the kids around them. I mean, a lot of people will go well, they should be included in math, they should be included in assemblies, they should be yeah, they of course they should be. There's, there's no, but what they're missing is the power these kids have on developing empathy and kindness in other kids. You know, to the point where I, my kids, are more prone to being kind to the students who have special needs than they are to their classmates right.
Speaker 2:And it comes down to a lot of it is it's a visible disability, so there's just that natural caring that comes out. It's like oh, you know what, they're clearly struggling, because I can see it, and so that's where I try to work with kids in schools, to have kids also that they actually may, and so the key is to just be kind to everyone and treat everyone the same right.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, and it really I see in we have I'm kind of the same way I have a 25-year-old stepdaughter, so I've finished my in-home parenting for that person. And then you know we have a 15 year old who is a high support needs and a 13 year old with very low support needs. So it's very interesting the you know range and the spectrum that we get to kind of perceive and support along the way. And I see how the for my son, the school system failed him at the very beginning. At the very beginning he was hyper lexic. He was reading at one, writing at two and the school was just like no way.
Speaker 1:When he was in kindergarten he was, I guess, first grade, he was doing algebra and of course I had provided all of these educational tools for him because I saw that he had this love and this want for these things. But the school system I thought, oh, I can't wait till he goes to school. This is going to be great, you know, this is the perfect place for him. And they just said decline, decline. We cannot teach someone like him on the level that he's at. Sorry, and I was so shocked and in disbelief that I was hearing this, thinking you all have teaching degrees. I'm sure you went through algebra. Come on, you can get you know get a worksheet off the computer, my heavens and.
Speaker 1:But there it wasn't. It wasn't like something that they were open or willing to do for for us personally. So I had to come home and homeschool. I did find an online school that was very supportive, that um would align with his academic prowess, if you will, and let him take multiple years at a time so that he could be where he wanted and needed to be at. And then I, you know, have my daughter, who was in all of the schools you know, physically and everything.
Speaker 1:And it wasn't until junior high kind of I would say the end of elementary into junior high that this piece that you're exactly talking about, this emotional wellness and emotional well-being, started to be so affected. And me personally, I said no way, like I heard. This part of her is so much more important to me than her writing a book report, doing a science project. Not that I don't want her I'm going to give you know she's going to have education, but at the same breath I'm not going to allow her to continue to be in these environments that are not changing for the wellness of our children, that they see that it's unwell but they're still not doing anything about it, even when prompted with ideas or resources or anything else, and it just yeah, it's almost comes to a point where I just I'm not quite sure how all of these other children are getting getting on getting along out there.
Speaker 1:Now that we've brought her home, we're focusing on that emotional well-being. We want that piece to be in place. So if she does want to go back to school someday, that won't be the part that she's struggling with. She'll have that support and maybe self-knowledge or self-confidence. You know that, understanding that the peer kind of judgment isn't necessary.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, well, it's funny because you know, listening to you talk about both experiences, they're both the same in the terms of how to incorporate kids like that. And schools generally, teachers generally, principals generally, superintendents they approach teaching like they're fishing with a big net. Let's just say there's 30 fish and they got to catch them all. They'll throw a net in and they'll catch, you know, 26 fish, right, with that one net, and so that's what they're used to doing, and meanwhile, three or four kids who don't get caught in the net end up suffering, right, and you know, some teachers are getting better at differentiating their instructions so they can adapt, whether it be enriching or modifying academics, like for your son right there, he needed to be enriched. The problem that I think schools are facing is that, because the behavior has shifted so drastically, where we're at schools, having to deal with behavioral issues in classes that are much more drastic and up and down, and it's just been going on for the last 15 years, so a long time, right, because of that, it makes it harder for teachers to prep and plan and to differentiate their instruction, and so that's where guys like me need to have, you know, know, school districts, schools have me come in so we can do an emotional audit of a school where we can examine the mental health of the kids. Sorry, I shouldn't say mental health, emotional intelligence. What we want to do is we want to look at the emotional intelligence of the kids, the emotional intelligence of the staff, of the leadership, of the secretarial stuff, just the emotional intelligence of how the school runs. And you know, you can use emotional intelligence to look at the actual structure of a school. So when I look at your son in the primary grades, you know how was the school structured to support that classroom teacher? It sounds like the school wasn't structured correctly to have him be supported with where he is in math, allowing for that enrichment, and to take the pressure off the teacher because the teacher's putting out fires left, right and center just trying to survive.
Speaker 2:And so that's where I think a lot of principals in a lot of school districts, they don't know how to incorporate an emotionally intelligent structure organization into their schools while developing personal and professional emotional intelligence in their kids and their staff, if that makes sense. And then, if you move on, if you move on to middle, middle schools, junior highs, et cetera, yes, schools probably have guidance counselors in them. You know two or three guidance counselors for five or 600 kids, but they can't have the impact on the kids that they need to, because you would have to connect with someone like your daughter every day to make sure she's learning the strategies to cope with the mean girl stuff or the pressure and anxiety of maintaining your academics. And again, that's where you know somebody like me comes in, helps a school district or helps a school with developing that emotionally intelligent structure and organization and helping develop that emotional intelligence in the staff and the students. So people like your daughter are mentally strong enough because they have the emotional intelligence to cope with those barriers and those roadblocks. But also so teachers have a common language and a common understanding of emotions and the science behind it themselves. So they can support from class to class to class. So your daughter is getting the correct support. So they can support from class to class to class. So your daughter's getting the correct support.
Speaker 2:On top of having a structure, a system in place where, if she needs to you know, get out of a class because it's too much or something, she has access to that person who can help her persevere through the rest of the day, build up that stamina and that stability and grow and gain that strength to go back the next day right, and you know, it's one of those things that it's about thinking outside the box and unfortunately we're in this transition phase where social, emotional learning and emotional intelligence are not a key pillar in schools. I know it's being brought into schools and it's being thrown at teachers, but they really don't know how to implement it and they don't know how to embed it and infuse it into what they do every day. And so I think we're getting close and right now. So what happens? When you don't know how to implement you know that emotional intelligence component or that social emotional component into your schools, you just fall back to. You know what.
Speaker 2:Let's focus on literacy more. Let's focus on numeracy more. You know what? Let's focus on literacy more. Let's focus on numeracy more. Let's just let's enhance our pedagogy and our instructional practices and hope that if we change the way we teach and if we differentiate enough, the kid will grab on, even though they're not going to grab on until they're mentally stable enough or emotionally intelligent enough to cope with the stress of it. Right.
Speaker 2:And so what you're describing is a point in our educational system which is why I wrote my first book is that we're on the cusp of this crisis in schools. You know a mental health crisis in our schools evolve. You know we're not just around. You know reading, writing and arithmetic, but behavior education as well, that emotional intelligence piece, that social emotional learning piece. Because even as adults, if you're an adult who's not emotionally intelligent, you're going to say or do something stupid that's going to offend people or you know you're not going to think of your common, your neighbor, the right way, or be able to. You know mom and your neighbor the right way, or be able to, you know, just be accepting and and being kind and a lot of those things. I think you know when you can't do those things, it creates division and and all kinds of things and and that's hard for kids when they're trying to learn how to be good people growing up and whatnot.
Speaker 1:If that makes sense? Oh, absolutely, what tell me your. Let's talk about the book. What is the title of the book? Do you have a copy you could show us and hold up?
Speaker 2:I don't know if you can see it, yeah, perfect yeah there's all three of my books up there.
Speaker 2:My first book is called Emotional Schools the Looming Mental Health Crisis and a Pathway Through it. The second book is just. It's a breathing strategy book that I created to help classroom teachers and parents, to help them co-regulate their children's emotional dysregulation. So it helps them learn to soothe through breathing and being mindful, because that's part of being able to soothe. You know your dive into the polyvagal nerve and how that affects our whole body, but it helps you calm it.
Speaker 2:And then my third book I just actually wrote. It's on leadership. It's called A New Leadership Paradigm, beyond Credentials and the Letters Behind your Name. Because we have this.
Speaker 2:We live in this world where if people have the doctor behind their name or whatnot, and they're a school leader or a superintendent or if they're in business, that all of a sudden they must be the best at it because they have doctor behind their name. But at the end of the day, you know the letters behind your name gets you in the door. But it doesn't make you a good leader, it doesn't make you somebody who's in it for the right reasons, it doesn't make you somebody who's going to. You know, do right by all of the people in your buildings, and so it's a three-part series. I'm actually in the middle of writing my fourth book. That revolves around the decline in play and how that's, you know, affecting, you know, our kids' ability to persevere and to have that grit and rigor because they just don't have the, you know, the ability to go through those trials and tribulations through play that we did when there was no digital age Right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely no, and I I really love that. I love the work you're doing. I think that it's so important. I think that it's the missing piece in so many problems in the education system. And how do you implement like, how would you start to implement that sort of audit on to a school and how do you gather that information to be able to do that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, and you know it's as basic as a questionnaire. An emotional audit is basically. I don't know if you know what a functional behavior assessment is, do you know what one?
Speaker 2:of those is yeah, I'm sure you do. So. It's the same idea where, basically, you know a teacher or a kid will answer a series of questions. They'll put one to five. On a scale of one to five, it feels like this, feels like that, and at the end you'll get get a. It'll spit out a result that says, okay, your emotional intelligence is average, very good, good, or, you know, below average. I wouldn't use the word horrible, but you know what I mean. And so what it does is it gives us a pinpoint, because the last thing you want to do is you, you don't want to walk into a school that's average and treat them like they're below average. You want to do is you don't want to walk into a school that's average and treat them like they're below average. You want to build on where schools are at right and same with kids.
Speaker 2:If you have kids that are strong in terms of their social, emotional well-being, their ability to regulate, their ability to manage their emotions and not become victims to their feelings, you want to basically be able to start kids in schools where they're at and then from there, you want to introduce a common language. You want to teach them how to embed using emotionally intelligent language into everything they do. So every time there's a behavioral issue, you refer to the common language and you refer to the strategy of breathing and being mindful for them to get through and cope through that stressor with some co-regulation with the teacher. When they're really young and as they get older, it's more of a reminder. It's like, hey, dude, take some deep breaths. I know this math test is tough. I know your university entrance requirement is going to weigh heavily on how you do on this test. But let's take some deep breath, let's be mindful, let's be in the moment. Remember that common language we've been learning, remember that we can do it. And you're just in the moment of when people are experiencing those emotional difficulties.
Speaker 2:It's basically when you have that common language and you have that ingrained into your system. It becomes the you know I don't want to say I don't take religion out of this, but I'll say it becomes their Bible of how to be emotionally intelligent. It gives them that this is my go-to camp feeling like this. It's like you know, as adults we have, I can call somebody that I know I can lean on, or there's certain quotes that I can read, or I know I can take some deep breaths or go for a walk, or I have strategies that I use to kind of soothe my mind, soothe my soul, so I'm in a good place, and it's about developing those things at an early age.
Speaker 2:And at the early ages, like in primary school, elementary school, middle school, you use play to help elicit emotions, to teach kids to self-soothe and self-regulate. And as kids get into the high school era, it's more word-based and it's more acting on in the moment, being reactive to when they're feeling disgruntled or having difficulties and giving them the tools and reminders of breathing and being mindful. Massive industry around helping adults with their mental health, around helping adults deal with stress and surviving their jobs and friendships and marriages and financial situations, and a lot of it revolves around being able to calm yourself so you can think right. And if you can think, then you can make the right decisions and you don't go down rabbit holes. And so really it's about early on using play, reincorporating free and structured play back into your schools to help guide kids through learning about breathing and mindfulness.
Speaker 2:And then, as you progress, that becomes ingrained and they learn how to do it on their own. And then as you get into the high schools and whatnot. It's about having teachers trained and students trained and reminded about emotional intelligence and what tools they have in their toolbox that they develop from elementary schools. And then, as you go along to and as you're, as I do these workshops that I'm working with elementary, middle school and high schools, I'm training teachers as well, so it not only helps them help kids, but it helps them with their own personal lives. So it's really I mean the workshops I do are five hours long, so trying to explain it in a two minute three minute podcast, but I think you get the idea of it.
Speaker 2:It's about implementing emotional intelligence strategies, doing an audit, so you're not wasting time starting up at a place you don't need to with some cause you could. I like I go into schools and they're toxic, toxic, toxic, and you got to start from basic. Then I'll go into schools and it's like wow, you guys are doing great. And some schools will come to me it's like yeah, we're here, we're on the cusp. I think our academics could be our key kids, or C plus kids. We want them A and B. So I'm like, okay, let me come in at that level. Here's how we attack it and let's get them to A's and B's. Let's develop that rigor, let's develop that grit and perseverance, right, Whereas other schools you're going way back and just teaching them how to play without getting into a fight with each other. Yeah, Right.
Speaker 1:Does that make sense? And so that's the emotional audit piece, which kind of gives you a baseline of where to start. So was there like one specific thing that happened? That was like the aha moment for you that this is what needs, this is what I'm going to do to change this. Was there anything specific? I'm thinking I'm hoping there's a good story behind that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was kind of a gradual aha. So I started 25 years ago and you know, I started my career in a. It was called a foundational class. It's back in the day. They used to stream kids, kids who had special needs, kids with behaviors they put them all into one class, right, and they wouldn't include them. So I always worked with kids that were vulnerable and at risk and so, which was fine, I figured it out. I quite enjoyed it. I had the EA support.
Speaker 2:I was disappointed that my kids couldn't be included in things and eventually, you know, within three or four years, society shifted, school system shifted and kids began to be more included and the trouble kind of started to come when. You know, we started being more inclusive with kids but there wasn't the funding to support them with education, ea education assistance or special ed assistance or the dollars for more programs or the funding to have a higher special ed teacher and so, but eventually that got better too. It's still a problem, but what started to happen about 10, 15 years ago is the sleep deprivation. With the onset of the digital age I had more and more kids coming in falling asleep in class, being disinterested in school, and teaching became harder and harder. We had to get more and more creative with how we taught, and the more creative we got, you know, it just seemed like the less interested kids were, and a lot of that is because you know video games. When a kid plays a video game they get a dopamine hit, a reward, every five seconds. So you can imagine a teacher trying to teach, you know kids, sentence structure with a predicate and a subject, and to capitalize this and put a period on that which takes 15 minutes, with a 15 minute lesson, right, and you can, you can see kids just kind of go right, and so it kind of started there. And then from there I was like okay, there, there has to be, there's something happening. And there, and then from there it kind of shifted into this.
Speaker 2:Kids all of a sudden freaking out or having tantrums or being unable to deal with small stressors like their pencil breaks, and all of a sudden they're flipping a desk or just not being able to tolerate an adult being the authoritarian in a room and all of a sudden they're pushing back with a disrespectful way, which then I think ties into not only the digital age but in this age where all of a sudden the nuclear family is one where both parents have to go to work, right, and so then you have this situation where both parents are working. So kids now are not only playing video games but they're being raised by whatever they're seeing on social media. So, and you know, it was kind of that moment with sleep deprivation, these kids inability to handle small stressors, and that's where I was like, and it was like I said it's probably 10 or 15 years ago. And then you know we're kind of plugging through, doing our best, you know, fighting the fight, and then all of a sudden COVID hits, and then now you have kids aren't going to school and everybody's trying to teach kids online. Well, if kids could learn online, they'd all be in online learning and and you know, being homeschooled and not in schools, parents aren't teach.
Speaker 2:I, I was a principal and I struggled having my kids at home. I actually went. I can't do this, do you?
Speaker 1:know what I mean. I don't know how I do some days and I don't some days. You know, that's the thing.
Speaker 2:That's the thing. And so you know. And then and then now. So we're in this epidemic, actually worldwide. Not only is there behavioral issues, because kids can't cope with the smallest distressors and because they're sleep deprived, we're also seeing attendance right around the world as a huge problem.
Speaker 2:Kids aren't coming to school anymore. Like kids are just like I don't want to go to school, I want to sleep in and parents trying to get ready for work and whatnot, and they don't want to have the fight and they don't want to battle taking the phone away. And so we have this perfect storm of parents having to work, not wanting to fight the social media battle, not. Parents are also getting addicted to technology and being on their phones too much, which means they're not playing as much with their kids. Parents are afraid to send their kids outside because they're afraid they're going to get kidnapped or hurt, so that free play where kids learn those skills is gone.
Speaker 2:To go join a swim club or a gymnastics team or play community soccer, the cost of those things has gone through the roof.
Speaker 2:So you know, the structured play costs too much money.
Speaker 2:And then even in schools here in Canada we're seeing, you know, even in high schools, our basketball programs, our volleyball programs, we're seeing less and less tournaments, less and less, because schools can't afford it, because the funding's not there, and I wished you know schools would realize and school districts would realize, okay, we're going to need to dump some money into things like drama and fine arts and sports, because that's what kids are passionate about and that's what helps the behavior. And that's what kids are passionate about and that's what helps the behavior and that's what keeps them coming to school. But instead they keep spinning their wheels and dumping money into numeracy and literacy and assessment practices and you know all these things, and and they're not getting to the root of what has to happen with social emotional learning, slash emotional intelligence, because that's the key to the shift is making having a group of kids and teachers and parents understand their own emotions so they can do the right thing Right. And so so, yeah, I mean to make a short answer long or a long answer short it started?
Speaker 2:it started with sleep deprivation and it's like that snowball going down a hill and it just got, got bigger and bigger and bigger.
Speaker 1:Exasperated by covid fascinating, it's absolutely fascinating.
Speaker 1:And I, in a sense our family, went through kind of like a tiny micro version of that with the sleep, um, kind of a sleep patterns that I finally, at some point, after my son would sleep all of the time during his, you know, therapy sessions, I finally started to recognize like I can't keep putting him to sleep with melatonin every night.
Speaker 1:This isn't working. Like I started tracking and watching his actual sleep schedule and letting him just naturally go to sleep when he needed to and wake up, and I really started to follow that and I was able to cause I was home, you know, at home with him, but what a difference it has made in our life. I mean, it's been maybe eight years now, so it's been very long time, um, but he sleeps like the moon every two weeks in the night, every two weeks during the day, every, and it wasn't anything you know. Um, the rest of our family doesn't, my husband does a kind of a version of. That is why I finally recognized and said wait a second, I need to look at this a little bit more clearly.
Speaker 2:But for him.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I just really had to follow that somatic, you know kind of answers he was showing me and just say, ok, I have to follow this and it doesn't make sense for society, it doesn't make sense for a lot of you know, for the educational schedule. But luckily, like again, we could, I could make that work in different ways. Like again, we could, I could make that work, and in different ways. Um, but overall now, um, he's very. I mean, he's still working on reciprocative language and things. There's a lot of work to go, of course, but, um, his actual, like health and like he doesn't get upset hardly ever. It's very, very few and far between that he is upset and I mean we would get upset. Going to the grocery store, getting into the car, getting out of the car, getting, you know, every transition was upsetting. So I'm really-.
Speaker 2:Which is pretty typical with kids who have autism. Transitions are I have yet so hard. A thousand kids with autism and every one of them has had an issue with the transition. Right it's? It's just something that's like, okay, we're about to switch, and that's where timers come in. It's like, let me, let me tell you a half an hour before here I'm going to set a timer because just so you know right, and if you don't, oh boy.
Speaker 1:Now he controls his own alarms and his own timers and his own. I give him, you know, the. This is when something's going to happen. He's ready, he's got his shoes on, he's at the front door, he's ready to go. He's like it's.
Speaker 1:Everything has been so much easier when I've really recognized to follow both of my children's kind of their own patterns and not try to force or change them into something that works for me and I know that's really hard for parents to hear, or parents to force or change them into something that works for me, and I know that's really hard for parents to hear, or parents to identify or even imagine that they wouldn't control every moment of their child's life to be like theirs. But my husband and I just really like kind of embraced the sense that hey, if we can just kind of grow this plant in the, you know, in the right sunlight that it needs, not where we think it looks best and kind of things, then different things will happen. And we really have and it's shown us such a much more positive, successful way of being the parents to them. Whoops and whatever that means. I don't know what that was, um, but yeah it's.
Speaker 1:It's amazing how, uh, just kind of that giving into. Um, I think feeling being emotionally intelligent ourselves and recognizing that they, uh, their needs and their wellbeing is is so important. They can learn and get all of the books and have all of the math problems and everything in their lifetime. That's not going to be something they're going to miss, but they are going to miss having these moments where we can sit down and have these conversations, these deep, meaningful conversations about what we do with our emotions and how we manage them and how we treat others when we are upset, or things like that. And so, yeah, it's definitely like this beautiful learning roller coaster. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, you know what you just you just nailed on the middle school, high school, component of emotional intelligence. So you, outlining those conversations, like you just outlined very clearly, of what we do when we do this, how we do that, Like you just listed a bunch of strategies and could you imagine if every teacher responded to kids the same way you just talked about, and that takes a common language, right. And that's where you know I come in with the common language. Here you go, here's a common language. You know you can see these colored posters. These are the key concepts around that. Yeah and so. But having that and knowing as a parent, you know that a socials, English, math, science, French teacher oh, you guys don't take French down there probably that's a Canadian thing, Canadian thing, Spanish maybe. But you know. But knowing that when they're in high school, because they have, you know, they're in a semester system, they have four teachers, sometimes five or six, with electives that each teacher can guide your kids towards having that open dialogue around. Okay, let's be emotionally intelligent here. This is what are you feeling, how are you feeling and why are you feeling it and how do we fix it. And knowing every teacher will have that conversation, because they have access to something that guides them to helping kids. Because that's what's missing right now is teachers don't have that thing that guides them to accessing that, and literally. So, instead of saying to a kid, you know, just get out of my class, go to the office, Instead of doing that, which then could turn into get out in the hallway, let me go have a conversation for a minute, two minutes, Instead of that saying hey, hey, hey, you know what? Look at that blue poster up there. That's this, this is what you're feeling. Remember that. Take some deep breaths.
Speaker 2:You got this and to have that and then that kid being reinforced every class, all day, every day, by five, six, seven adults plus at home. It's a game changer, right, and to make you feel better, I let my kids at school sleep. I have every day I'll have a kid fall asleep on a couch in my cause. I don't have a principal's office, I have a calming space where they come in and they, they, they'll sleep for an hour or two. I'll wake them up after an hour. So it's it's better than having forcing them to try to stay awake and not learning or getting into a fight with them or sending them home. I'd rather you want to come and sleep for an hour. Let's get you back and pick up where you're at, and that's what I do, Cause there's no point fighting it Like we did 15 years ago saying you know what I'm going to call your parents. You need to get to bed, Cause it just doesn't happen that way.
Speaker 1:Right, oh, this has been such a great conversation. I'm so happy that we connected and I hope that we can stay in touch because I think that there's a lot we could share and learn and teach others between what you and I have going on. That's wonderful. Tell us where we can go to find out more information about you, where my listeners and viewers can go to reach out to you If they'd like to get in touch. I know there are quite a few teachers and hopefully some principals that might be listening, so hopefully we will take advantage of this wonderful information. Where can we go to find out?
Speaker 2:They can. They can just go to Leroy Slanzicom Wonderful yeah. Then go to Lee. Sure, they can just go to leroyslanzicom Wonderful yeah, they can go to. I'm in the process of evolving into a different website and stuff. That's about three or four months away. But right now leroyslanzicom it has my contact information on there. There's a phone number. You can also email me at leroyslanzi, at gmailcom, and I have no problem getting on a phone call, doing a consultation see where you're at. And that's all free. By the way, there's no money being charged until there's an actual contract signed with me going into a school. But I'm definitely. I'm here to have a conversation. Like I get teachers emailing me all the time saying this is what I'm feeling, this is what's going on, and I end up, you know, free of charge. Sometimes I'm like God, I do have a teacher consultant business, but I'm terrible at it because I never charge.
Speaker 2:I'm just always like, yeah, because I get excited and I want to help, so yeah, they can go to my website, they can email me and I'm here for parents and teachers and you know as much as I can be.
Speaker 1:Well, it's been such a wonderful time to have this conversation with you. I hope that we can stay in touch and please keep doing this amazing work you're doing. I hope that somebody in the United States can also pursue the same yeah.
Speaker 2:I can come to the United States.
Speaker 1:Come on down.
Speaker 2:I know there's a lot of chaos going down in your world, but my sister works in California so I think I'll be safe there and I can do it. There's visas and permits. I can come down to present, present and stuff, so you can bring me down.
Speaker 1:It's all good. Oh, that sounds so great. Well, thank you so much for your time today, and I really looking forward to staying in touch.
Speaker 2:Great, awesome. Thank you, sarah. Thank you, sarah. Have a great rest of your day.
Speaker 3:You too, shining bright, oh yeah. Stories of love and courage all throughout the night, her voice resonating an anthem for all. Through the trials and the trials, she answers the call. Her mother and her father breaking barriers and strife. Her love is her guide. She'll never hide. She's changing the world for you with her heart and speech and strong Bye. 44,000 voices sharing in life. She stands for family, advocates for more Movement of compassion. Ways we'll soar Podcasts together. Symphony of support, creating life changing rapport. She's changing the world for you With a heart that's fierce and strong. Empathy is the melody in a journey we all belong. To her eye, a vision clear. Together we ride, shedding fears. In every heart, she plants the seed of understanding and love. For dearly me, it's a changing world for you, with a heart that's fierce and strong. Empathies and melodies In a journey we all belong.
