.png)
THE SJ CHILDS SHOW-Building a Community of Inclusion
🎙️ Welcome to The SJ Childs Show Podcast! 🎉
Join Sara Bradford—better known as SJ Childs—as she bridges understanding and advocacy for the neurodivergent community. This podcast shines a light on autism awareness, empowering stories, expert insights, and practical resources for parents, educators, and individuals alike.
Brought to you by The SJ Childs Global Network, a nonprofit dedicated to supporting autistic individuals and their families worldwide, this show is your weekly dose of inspiration and actionable ideas. Visit sjchilds.org to learn more about our mission, find resources, and connect with our growing community.
Catch us on platforms like Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Goodpods—or tune in Fridays at 8:30 AM EDT on the Helium Radio Network’s Life Improvement Radio (Channel 1). Together, let’s foster a brighter, more inclusive world! 🌟
Go here to download training materials!
https://sjchilds.myshopify.com/
THE SJ CHILDS SHOW-Building a Community of Inclusion
Episode 318-Behind the Scenes: The Real Life of a "Love on the Spectrum" Star with Kaelynn Partlow
What happens when autism representation meets reality? Kaelynn Partlow pulls back the curtain on life before, during, and after Netflix's "Love on the Spectrum" in this candid conversation about authenticity and advocacy in the public eye.
Diagnosed with autism at age 10 after years of medical professionals dismissing her mother's concerns ("In the nineties, girls couldn't catch autism," she jokes), Kaylin's journey from struggling student to lead therapist at Project Hope showcases the power of proper identification and support. Now working with autistic clients while managing her growing social media presence, she navigates the complexities of being both clinician and community member with remarkable insight.
The conversation reveals surprising truths about overnight fame - the eight-hour filming days, the unexpected social media explosion, and the loneliness of an experience "only you have, by yourself." Most poignantly, Kaelynn articulates the challenge of forming genuine connections when followers seek advice rather than friendship: "There's a power imbalance. When we meet up, you will want something from me." This reality led her to write "Life on the Bridge: Linking my World to Yours as an Autistic Therapist," offering practical guidance to the many families who reach out for support.
Between discussions of sensory accommodations (fidget toys, headphones, earplugs) and behind-the-scenes television realities (being excluded from award ceremonies despite the show's success), emerges a portrait of someone determined to create meaningful change through authentic representation. As Kaelynn transitions from direct service to more conceptual advocacy work, her perspective remains invaluable for anyone seeking to understand autism beyond stereotypes and simplifications.
Connect with Kaelynn on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and YouTube to follow her continuing journey advocating for authentic autism representation and understanding.
Hi, thanks for joining the SG Child show today. I'm really, really excited to bring this guest to you guys I think that you will also be so excited and just to learn more about her and her experiences. Kaylin, you were on season one or season two season one of Love on the Spectrum. But let's talk to you about way before that. Let's just introduce yourself. Tell us a little bit about yourself and we'll go from there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, my name is Kaylin Partlow. Most people know me from my participation in the Netflix series Love on the Spectrum. From there, my social media platforms kind of exploded, so I often get people recognizing me from like YouTube or Facebook or Instagram and maybe they don't even know that I've been on the show, which is kind of flattering in its own way, just because it means that I've got a big reach and I'm impacting a lot of people. And it's not necessarily contingent on the Netflix show, so that's really exciting and very meaningful. In my day to day, I'm a lead therapist at Project Hope. I work with autistic clients and I also manage their social media, so I'm very busy.
Speaker 1:I bet no, that sounds fascinating and it's great that you can give back to the community and be in the community as well, and I think that that's one thing I've found so refreshing. I mean, I came into the community as a mom and then had a late diagnosis and felt even more about being a part of something that I found, something I finally belong to and people I could relate with and have great conversations with. So tell us a little bit about how that journey began for you and your diagnosis journey as a child and what that looked like, or as an adult, whatever timeframe that was for you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so when I was very young, my mom brought up concerns about autism to the pediatricians, but I like to joke that in the nineties girls couldn't catch autism, I guess I don't know. Doctors were just like so confused on the fact that girls can also be on the autism spectrum and so, despite her seeing concerns in early childhood, like extreme sensory aversions and meltdowns, they wouldn't even entertain the idea of looking into that further. So it wasn't until I was failing the third grade and was talking about, you know, not wanting to be on the earth anymore, that anybody was able to take that seriously, and it was primarily because of academic deficits was the only time that professionals had considered that. So, after a bunch of private pay testing in Orlando, that's when I got the diagnosis of autism at the age of 10.
Speaker 1:Wow, too late to I'm for you to have gone through that and I'm so sorry you had to go through those things and there's there's a pride, there's like this value to the knowledge, um, and that's a lot of things. A lot of parents are afraid of getting a diagnosis and what that looks like. But let's talk about what it looks like when you don't have that and you don't have access to the support and you don't have a belief system, if you will, around you to help really guide you and empower you for the skills that you have, you need to be built on and the challenges that you need help to overcome. That's really great that you know your mom just fought for that support. It sounds like, and sometimes it's great that we have those people fighting for us in those corners. And then where does that look like? The advocacy take a turn for you and where do you find yourself fitting into that and you know big, building your future on that.
Speaker 2:On what.
Speaker 1:On the advocacy of your own, having your own diagnosis, like when did you start your advocacy work?
Speaker 2:Um, it was probably around the time that Love on the Spectrum came out. I had a Facebook page that I, you know was intentional about sharing specific information that I thought might be helpful to people, but it really wasn't, you know, influenced at all by like, my like. I don't even think I posted a selfie on there for the longest time, like I didn't necessarily want my name or my face attached to it, and I don't really know that I had a reason for it. I just thought that that was not necessary, and then, after the show came out, I kind of realized that having a name and a face definitely adds something valuable to people, you know, gives them something to connect with, and so it kind of, just like I said, it grew from there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, how was that for you, that over, you know, that explosion of social media and everything, how was that for your senses and kind of, how did that play on you and how did it affect you in your personal life?
Speaker 2:They told us that that would happen, that our social medias would kind of take off, that people would be messaging us. People in the grocery store might ask to take selfies, but they really didn't and maybe they didn't know, but they didn't really explain to what extent that that might happen. So I think all of us with maybe the exception of Dani, because she, I think, think, went into it knowing a little bit more than the rest of us Um, you know, I think we just we didn't know what to expect and so there's no one you can ask it's not like I know someone else who's been on Netflix what's the experience like for you? There's no one in your life understands. It's an experience that only you have, and you have that by yourself.
Speaker 1:Wow, wow. How was that experience? Tell us about that, and what like did you? What did you learn from that experience about yourself?
Speaker 2:I learned that I work really well under pressure, like I. I kind of knew that already that I could do things even when the situation was challenging, but I didn't know to what degree that I was capable of doing that. They, they really pushed us for filming. They were, they had a deadline. They're trying to get it done in a certain amount of days. They're not trying to extend their travel, um, so you gotta be able to keep up with them. It was eight hours of filming every day, uh, and that was challenging, but I I did it.
Speaker 1:Great job, by the way, too. No, I I loved watching all of the. All of the seasons of Love on the Spectrum have been just incredible. Australia, US, it's been. It's been amazing to finally see representation in the media that's authentic. What do you think and say to people that bring that up, that say, um, that it's. You know it's troubling to the cast members themselves I mean.
Speaker 2:Usually my feedback to that is to just ask the cast members very few people who are saying like oh man, this was terrible, like have you asked us or are you just deciding it's terrible? You know, I agree, they're not usually asking, they're just drawing their own conclusions.
Speaker 1:No, I couldn't agree with you more because I have shared several things and you know, people say, oh, I just I don't like the representation. And I say, well, I know people on the show, this is for them, this is for them, for me to share this for them Not, yeah, not for you. You don't have to like it or like the post, for that matter, right? So, yeah, I, I think that it's. It's really um a delicate situation. And two, especially um, does a lot of do the other cast members have, uh, their families and stuff, help them manage, like, the social media aspect of those things?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think most of them. I don't know about Danny, but I think most people. Their social media is managed by their families.
Speaker 1:Yes, yeah, which is probably nice Cause. Then they're not maybe exposed to as much.
Speaker 2:I'm jealous a lot of the time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I do not get support in that area, so wow, I can't imagine how did it affect your life in dating. Did it? Have you found that it's something you want to keep pursuing? Are you dating right now, or I don't know that I've given up. You've given up?
Speaker 2:I don't know. I think I've become a bit of a workaholic and so, like all I do is go to work and go home, I travel a lot for conferences, but there's not very many single men at those places usually. Uh, so it's, it's been rough out there.
Speaker 1:Well, and? And do you live on your own? I live with roommates. Yep, I have.
Speaker 1:Um, I have a tip that I learned so many years ago and it was just I can't remember where I learned it from, but they said if you want to meet someone to fit into your life, make room for them in your closet. Clean half your closet out so that there's empty space, so that there's room for someone to come into your life. And it's just like a mental mindset kind of. Put it forth into you know, into the universe, that you want to bring somebody, that you have space for them. So there's your tip yeah Right, space for them. So there's your tip yeah Right. And then maybe that'll kind of, then maybe you'll know when you're really ready or when you're not. Then, when you feel like that's a necessary or a good thing to do, that's good, that's interesting.
Speaker 1:Um, let's see, we are really in an interesting era and of information and everything right now, and there's a lot of buzz, a lot of chatter, but I think it's the most exciting thing that autism is in the ears and mouths of more people than ever before. That doesn't mean it's always positive or a great thing, but it's. It's really cool that it's finally um something I can you know talk about at the grocery store and it's more widely known than ever before. But there are a lot of misconceptions. What do you think um are like the biggest misconceptions still in in society right now?
Speaker 2:options still in society right now? Oof, I don't know. It's hard for me to answer that one. I am maybe skewed, maybe jaded, maybe a little bit bitter or all of the above, just because I'm so entrenched in it that if you ask me, you know what's the biggest misconception around autism. I would say something about how people believe that if you prefer small spoons and are disgusted at the way that velvet feels that, you too may in fact have autism, and I don't know that that's a super mainstream or widely held belief, but in the kind of neurodivergent world it certainly can seem as though it may become a widely held belief and it's definitely frustrating to see some of those sensory experiences become trivial trivialized and I know that's probably not the intent, but I do think that's still the effect.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it's really hard. I think that when we, especially when we're in positions where we need to use the right language, use the right references and things, then it gives you I mean, it gives you a playground, but there's boundaries that you need to definitely stay within, and it can be hard and you can definitely lose. You can find yourself going down rabbit holes on social medias, things like that, but I think that information for the most part is moving in a positive direction. I surely hope so. I'm trying to do that, you know, with educational summits, things like that, where I just have all autistic speakers. I'm trying to just show that there's representation to be found everywhere, and especially globally, like there's a lot of you know places that still are so far behind, if that's fair to say, um, in their resources and their knowledge and their access to things, and so hopefully that will start to change in the world. Um, what are you? Are you working on anything, uh, new or exciting right now?
Speaker 2:I feel like nothing stands out at the moment, like if I think, if I have to think about it that long, probably that's great.
Speaker 1:What kind of question off the, off the books, like, what kind of hobbies, interests and things like that do you find yourself leading into? Do you like to read or music? What do you like to do?
Speaker 2:I have joked before that I kind of suck at having autism because I don't like anything, which is really unfortunate on a personal level. I don't like fiction, I don't like fantasy, I don't like most TV shows, I don't like to read, I don't like to exercise. So finding hobbies and leisure activities is actually very challenging for me, and I don't know if it's just that traditional you know, autism fueled resistance to new things or if it's some other deeper existential something, I don't know. But finding hobbies outside of work is challenging for me as an adult.
Speaker 1:Yeah, how about social life? How's that been for finding social circles Easier now, or where do you find yourself there?
Speaker 2:I think if you'd asked me a couple weeks ago, my answer would be different. However, recently I made a new friend from Instagram, which is not something I typically do. You know a lot of people will be like, oh my gosh, I live in your area, we should totally meet up and followers are not friends. I'm sorry, they're just not. Followers are more like clients than they are like friends. There's a power imbalance.
Speaker 2:We are not the same, and when we do meet up, you will want something from me and I will have to give it to you, um, in a, in whatever capacity that that is. You know they want an autograph, they want advice, they want me to help them with their autistic child. You know, it's very sweet that they are so forthcoming with their appreciation, but it's not the same as a genuine friendship. However, someone else recommended this person to me, and so I guess that separation made it seem more like it could be a genuine friendship. And so, because it came from like a third party, and they were like, oh hey, I have this other friend who would love to be your friend. She's autistic, she's a therapist, and so we met up for dinner last week and then I went to her house for dinner on Wednesday. So this is a new thing, because I'm not someone who has ever had very many friends, so I'm very excited about this.
Speaker 1:I have the same same life. I have a wonderful husband that I've been best friends with for 21 years, so I guess that's the great part about it and we have kids, but I don't have friends outside of my, of him, in our like, house and everything right. That's our island, our island of bradford's, um, and that's okay, like I've learned to just kind of love and appreciate, but that every once in a while, when you do meet, I do meet that person that I click with so great, and we can have like meaningful conversations, and I think it has a lot to do with that too Finding those people you can have those meaningful conversations with. Like you said, they don't want something from you. I love that you said that, because that's a tricky thing, especially when you're someone and it sounds like I'm a very like out extroverted, friendly, kind of take everyone in before, and that can be dangerous, and so I think that you're a little bit more guarded and a little bit smarter about that, which my daughter was that way too, and I admire that so much. I'm like so thankful.
Speaker 1:But no, I love that you said that, because it is true that there is an aspect of fanfare or followers that just, you know, want something and don't really have, and it makes it. I think it's kind of lonely feeling if you, if you, just from that end too, I completely understand that. Oh gosh, sorry, I got a little off track. Yeah. Well, I think that what you know Love on the Spectrum is doing is fantastic. What was it like working? Was Jennifer Cook working then? Is that who was your?
Speaker 2:coach at the time. I she's now.
Speaker 1:I did not get support. Oh really, why is?
Speaker 2:that I don't know. I guess you don't need it. You're good you've. You've got it.
Speaker 1:Figure it out, buddy really yeah, how was that aspect for you then? Did you find that that was a little bit discriminatory, or I?
Speaker 2:maybe I shouldn't say too many things. I live near each other. She's in North Carolina and I'm in South Carolina, so it would not have been very challenging for us to meet up. Um, I assume they just were like nah, you're good, you've had, you know, some experience here and there, so you're good to go. Wow.
Speaker 1:And maybe your experience might've been different if, like you, would have had some different ideas or you know, things.
Speaker 1:But, oh my goodness, well, I, no matter what you decide and what works out. I just hope the best for you and really thank you for being such a wonderful role model to everyone that is, you know, looking at you for, um, for advice and for, uh, helping. You know it's so hard to. I completely get it. How can you help my child? Well, you are probably the best person not you, but the mom or the parent is the best person to to help their their own child. Yes, um, what is there any resources that you like, especially that you might give to families? Um, for when they come to you and ask you those types of things?
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's actually the whole reason I wrote my book. Um, I don't know if you have read it or not, but no, tell me yeah, I didn't know.
Speaker 1:Oh man, well, I guess I'm glad I'm learning, then.
Speaker 2:Yeah, my book is called Life on the Bridge Linking my World to Yours as an Autistic Therapist, and the whole thing is supposed to be practical, actionable advice that you don't need resources for, you don't need all these materials or you don't need a therapist. You can pick it up and pull something out of it that you can do today if you want to. So that was kind of my whole point, because I do get a lot of messages from families who are saying how do I help my autistic child with communication, or how do I help my autistic child with their sensory needs or accommodations, and I can't possibly answer every single message, but I care about every single message. So that's why I wrote that book.
Speaker 1:Oh, I love that, thank you. Thank you for doing that and I'll I'll make sure that the links are there so that people can read that. And um, do you have a? Is it on audio or on ebook or in?
Speaker 2:ebook. Um, it's on Amazon, it's on Barnes and Noble online. Love it, love that?
Speaker 1:Uh, that's really helpful. What type of accommodations do you give to yourself now?
Speaker 2:Hmm, I mean, I feel like I've got the basic ones, you know the boring ones. I've got fidget toys, I've got headphones, I've got earplugs, kind of wherever I go. Yeah, I would say those are probably the big ones.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's good, and I think that, depending on the support you need, then that's, you know, you need to just follow and always just be authentic to what your needs are, and I think that that's hopefully something the world is being able to learn from social media and from TV and from the representations and things like that. Is there any, is there any love on the spectrum in the future for you or anything like that? Let the other ones take shots at it and see how it turns out. Yeah, that's good. Do you stay in touch with a lot of the cast members?
Speaker 2:Yeah, we don't live very close to each other None of us really. I do live close to Tanner and Connor, but they have just such tight schedules that I think it might be challenging to get together with them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but a Zoom once in a while or something, and I guess when you guys do like events or something, you guys probably will see you all in the pictures, so I'm seeing it together. But how are those? How have the events been and how has it been? Just like celebrating the accomplishments and nominated you know nominated thing Did you guys win? I don't watch TV so I totally apologize for not like knowing about the award things, but yeah, how did that go? What was that like for you? Did you go?
Speaker 2:I mean, I don't know, they didn't invite me. No, you're kidding me. Yeah, they didn't. Um, they invited them for season three. They flew everybody out and paid for it, and maybe it's like you know you, you learn some things the hard way um you know some of us were.
Speaker 2:I don't know if they knew that our feelings were hurt about it or that, if it mattered, what they told us was that there wasn't a budget to fly us out. Which, okay, you're Netflix, but okay. So season one was not celebrated in that way, but I am not. Well, let me restart that. I'm very happy for season three that they have kind of learned to be a little bit more inclusive with those celebrations.
Speaker 1:Good, no, I'm really glad to hear that too, but I am sorry that that that is the case that you had to go through so good to know. I mean, I think this is something people don't know Right. They have this blurred perception of you were, you know, oh, you got to get famous on this show, but this is real life and you still have to go to work and you still, you know, have to feed animals or whatnots and things like that. So, yeah, I'm good. What is your? What are you going to do this weekend? Anything exciting coming up for the weekend?
Speaker 2:I think I have to take my younger brother to dinner tonight, so that'll be.
Speaker 1:And where do you go in South Carolina? South Carolina, is that where you said you lived?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't know, I will probably let him pick. He's 19 and he's kind of a menace. But he wasn't at that age.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely. If you're not something's, then yeah, Check it. Something might be wrong. No, just kidding. I think that even my 15 year old. I look at him and I'm like you might be semi-verbal, but you still are giving me a good run for my teenage money here, no, it's, it's been, you know, and I have a 25 year old stepdaughter.
Speaker 1:So I had kind of a 20 year parenting headstart not 20 years headstart, 10 year headstart on my own. So that gave me a lot of lessons to learn and I brought a lot of it into my parenting now and I can tell you my youngest my youngest Ooh, she's a spoiled Absolutely. We have a great communication. I want to be in her life in 20 years. So I'm setting up that foundation with her now because I think it's different. It's like a different mindset parenting thing altogether. So you have a while to worry about that. Is that something you want in your future? I?
Speaker 2:mean, unless you know, miraculous conception is going to happen. I think it's probably not going to happen, but you would want to if you found the right partner?
Speaker 1:I don't think so. Oh, I like that too. I like women that kind of know what they want for their future, because I think that it's it's just, we all have to follow our own paths, and I think that the more accepted we can be for everyone on their where they're at, on their journey, um, the easier it'll be for all of us to be nice to one another. You know, I I just I like to be kind, so for I guess I'm a little different in that aspect than most of the people I run up into into the world, but that's all right. It's just so nice to get to know you and I hope that we can stay in touch and I can just check in and see how you're doing, and and I won't, you won't need to do anything or send me anything, I promise I'll just say hello. No, it's been really nice. What? Where can people? Obviously you have your Instagram, things like that. Where? What other social medias on your are you on where people can go and find you and follow you and support you?
Speaker 2:I'm everywhere Instagram, Facebook, TikTok and YouTube. Okay, Fantastic.
Speaker 1:Well and thank you. Thank you for doing the work you're doing, and what does your everyday job look like when you work? Are you working with adults or with kiddos.
Speaker 2:It's changing. I am moving out of direct service and into more conceptual work, a lot of writing, a lot of social media stuff, more projects, more presentations. So I will be sad to leave direct service, but I will still be very involved with those processes, so not too sad.
Speaker 1:Yeah, right, no, and it's kind of nice to do another aspect of things Right. I like that. So good for you. Well, thank you so much for your time. Yeah, I appreciate it. Yeah, absolutely, and I'd love to stay in touch, so I will chat with you later.
